I quit my job

I had wed off and had to go back to work on thursday. I made it to work on time but hated going. I couldn't make it to my first break by the time I had to clock out as 'personal time' to just walk away from the phone. Running through my head was how much I wanted to quit, "why haven't I quit, I hate being here." But I went and got back on the phone anyways. Lunch is always difficult, I stopped packing my lunch mostly because I wait till the last second to crawl out of bed and then barely get to work on time. So then I have to go out to lunch and coming back is so hard. I sit at lunch and in my head all I can think about are the list of reasons why I should quit and why its not a big deal that quitting is better than staying. And yet I end up back at work taking calls again, really like I do everyday at work. When my second break came I was ready for it. I found myself in the bathroom stall crying because I didn't know why I was even still there why hadn't I packed up my stuff and walked out. I get back to my desk and without even thinking about it I just start packing my stuff. I had these bags I kept knowing eventually I would quit or be fired. So I packed up all my stuff. As I was packing I felt this pressure off from my shoulders. But I couldn't stand up and walk out I logged back on the phone thinking I would just finish my day. At the end of the day, after my last call I logged off and just sat there. My stuff packed I could give my badge to my boss and not come back. But I didn't do it. I think it is because I was more relaxed after packing my stuff.

I came back to work today. My stuff was all packed all I have out is paper and pen. I take calls all day. I hate every customer that calls me. I have no patience with anyone. I don't even care that I am not really helping customers. Actually I do. My lack of care is why I had to go I had to get out. All day I am saying I am sorry we screwed you and nope there is nothing I can do about it. I went to lunch and came back and I was supposed to log off and go to my weekly meeting with my sup and the last call was just ridiculous a customer lying to try and save another $25. I was so angry so I logged out, picked up my stuff, walked to my boss's desk and handed her my badge said I was quitting and walked out. When I said it I started crying, I don't even know why just too much emotion tied to that moment. But as I get out and put my stuff in the car and I am driving home I realize I'm not sad I am a little giddy. I am happy. I am driving home and have a little smirk on my face. Now maybe its shock or just my initial joy and I realize that life is about to suck in a brand new way but I am pretty happy. I don't even care right now. I'm just, breathing a little more freely now.