HCG - Update

I am sorry I have not posted in so long. I kept going back and forth on what I was going to do and didn't think you really needed/wanted to hear me go back and forth. I did stop taking the HCG yesterday. I just mentally can not seem to handle it. I cheat over and over again. I don't know if it is because my relationship with food is too strong or if I am scared to be a normal size; probably a combination of both. I am saving the other half of the bottle. I guess it doesn't have an expiration date so maybe one day in the future I will be ready to try again.

I did loose 14 lbs in 3 weeks. Which is amazing with as much as I cheated. Especially because I only lost 10 lbs in the previous 10 1/2 months of this year. After many ups and downs I seemed to have come to a rest at 250.5 lbs. It is over my 250 but closer to going under than before. I managed to go to the gym once last week and had to lower all of my weights 10 to 20 lbs from the last time I was there. I am not surprised because it has pretty much been 2 months since I have gone to the gym. I hope to work my way back up with my weights.

Anyways, just wanted to let you know what was up. Thank you for all of your prayers and support as I attempted this. I am feeling a bit broken and emotional because I failed at this. It is frustrating to have a way to loose weight and to learn that mentally I am not ready. Now I am supposed figure that out and even the idea of it is just draining. Bleh, its stupid.