This is why...

This is why I fail. This is why I have dropped out of school four times before. This is why.

Because I spent a week being afraid of a 10 page paper. Because I don't finish the outline till 7pm on the night it is due. Because I then have four hours to write the research paper, have some read it, answer 15 ridiculously long questions, then write two paragraph response to their answers all before midnight. Because I thought that I would get points for doing the rough draft when it turns out I get no points for the rough draft I only get points for the questions answered and my response. Because i don't realize this until 11:30 at night after I have spent 3 1/2 hours working on the essay. And most of all because I am so stressed about the stupid rough draft that I couldn't finish in time that I forget completely about the 3 assignments due my other class. One of which I finished and just never submitted. And of course I do not remember that I even have another class let along that I have assignments due until 12:02! Great! Fabulous! So now I can fail two classes at once! This is why I don't do school. This is why I fail at life!

There is no point in staying up later trying to finish them. Turning them in in an hour won't make them any more on time then turning them in tomorrow afternoon. Plus I have church in the morning. I don't know how I will wake up in six hours but i have to do it, I have a commitment. Especially since I just wasted the last four hours of my life for no reason!

I hate school. Why did I start again? I can't seem to remember right now. All I know is that my 8-10 page essay is only five pages right now. Oh yeah and it is all total junk. I will probably have to scrap most of it tomorrow when I read through it. I can't seem to do anything right right now. Sixteen days till I turn 30 and I have nothing show for my life.




Morning Update: In the light of morning of course I realize how crazy this post is. All of the frustrations and feeling were deffinitly real and the fact that I used no curse words is the post is actually surprising. Now that I have slept a little, I am about to run off to church, I know that of course it is not the end of the world. I have made a semi plan for today to get my assignments done and turned in tonight. One day late will loose some points but my grades do not hinge on these few assignments. I do not apologize for my frustrations only am only explaining that they did not last very long.