Note: this was typed on iPhone and may have some errors due to autocorrect. Please excuse these.
As I was getting out of bed this morning my thought was " Why do I torture my body like this?" Yesterday pretty much sucked all day. So after getting home in the evening I decided, instead of just quickly getting my homework done and going to bed I went to Denny's instead. I was there way too late, did my assignment wrong and barely turned it in on time. I did get to bed around 1:30 am which isn't that bad. But because I drank so much caffeine right before bed I woke up every hour or so to go to the bathroom. So when I had to get up t 7 this morning it was tough.
As the realization that I am torturing my body I also realize that it wouldn't be as bad if I was torturing it with exercise. The image of Colin Ferrell's character in SWAT exercising till he threw up and then just kept going has always stuck with me. Why can't I torture my body that way? Okay I realize I shouldn't torture my body at all.
Then of course because I am running late and have no caffeine in the house, which I will surely need to prevent a horrible headache from attacking m, I go to McDonalds for breakfast. So the body already feeling tortured is being fed two greasy McMuffins and a greasy hashbrown. Smart, I know.
I need to do better but feel stuck. I mean even last night after making the previous post I was thinking about how I should start preparing my body so that it is most capable for getting pregnant when the time comes. (You may be lost if you didn't read previous post. I don't even have a bf let alone a husband but have had kids on the brain lately.) Then what do I do I feed it more junk this morning.
I think the worst thing is that I realize I am torturing the temple God has provided for me. I don't take care if it and I let in all this junk. I think about how Jesus visited a church and in the outer courtyard there was a market and bartering and gambling. How upset Jesus was that they would defile his sacred place. Am I not doing the same thing? I eat junk and am lazy not maintaining my body with exercise. I allow unpure thoughts and images in. If I saw Jesus what would He say about how I have defiled the temple that is me?
I think you have all the right ideas...just need to execute them and not give up or be frustrated when you don't see immediate results after just a few days. It really needs to become a lifestyle. My husband lost 40-50 lbs. about 2 years ago when he was training with Navy Seals in hopes of making it as a Seal. The Navy didn't work out for him, but he kept up the routine and lifestyle and still hardly misses a day of exercise. When he does, he beats himself up and is in a bad mood. At first I didn't understand his obsession, but I'm learning that what I see as an obsession, is really hardcore discipline on his end. He's my inspiration.
ReplyDeletePlease don't give up.
Thank you violinista for your encouraging comment. It is really encouraging to see success in other people's lives.
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