I usually don't do resolutions but I think this year I need to use this "new year" as an opportunity for change. My resolutions are really what I always try to work on and the standard resolutions for most of America. They boil down to three"
1. Finances
2. Weight
3. God
The first is my finances. As you know I moved out of my condo into my dad's place. I work two part time jobs which keeps me busy seven days a week but I Love both jobs and the pay is exactly what I need. (Totally a God thing, all thanks goes to He.) The problem is that I have become lax in this. If I write it all out I have plenty of money for bills, food, and a couple "extra's." But when I start indulging my desires instead of needs at the end of the month it doesn't work out....Ok, let me be honest. Over the last two months I have started eating out at a restaurant for lunch at least once a week plus going out to eat on Sunday's which usually means not just food for me but nephews as well. When I look at my bank statement for the last month or two I can see that most of my money is going to food, really for food I am paying someone else to prepare for me. I know why I do it, its totally psychological. We never ate out as kids whether sit down restaurants or fast food. So I always feel "fancy" when I go out to eat. Like it is a sign that I am doing well that I can eat out often. But I also intellectually know that nobody really cares except maybe people that are jealous and really I shouldn't be creating that for other people as I know how it feels. But I guess its like for some girls who go buy a new fancy purse or pair of shoes giving yourself that "I'm important" feeling. Anyways, I have to stop spending and start being responsible. Pay down some of my debt while I have this opportunity to do so.
I hate to admit it but God is not first in my life. It is even obvious by the fact that He is third on my list. I go to church and bible study and I try to learn what I am hearing. With my recent increase of books I have been adding christian fiction and non-fiction to my list. But the personal relationship is...distant. I go to long between prayers, when really it should be daily. I know that when I was doing a daily devotion I enjoyed it but I haven't done one for so long. So step one is go through my current bookcases and find a daily devotion to follow. Step two a dedicated prayer time every day. It can be with the daily devotion or in addition. But I have to start talking to God regularly again! Step three is to get more involved in bible study (I have already started bringing a note book to take notes in the last two weeks.) But possibly looking for a small group to attend during the week. I used to meet with a group of friends but that fell apart. They are currently doing one for couples (being single I was not invited.) So I will need to branch out and see if I can find one with maybe a different church that I would enjoy.
The last is my weight. So it is actually pretty exciting but it feels so small I don't like telling people but I have been tracking my weight for years and in the last 7 months I have lost 30 lbs! You can't really see it on me and I only kind of went down a size but when I think about it it is pretty exciting. I have been doing more of a push to loose some weight since I moved and I am glad to see that it is actually working. It is also motivating to the fact that if I was more dedicated I would see more of a loss from month to month. It's not really about the way I look; even if I haven't found a guy that thinks so I think I am beautiful. But (and I have probably said this before so sorry for the repeat) I want to have babies eventually and I can't at this weight. Also I know that weighing this much is not good for my heart. I am only 27 and I shouldn't wonder if my heart burn is more than that or a sore arm is something more serious. So I can't believe I am about to admit this but I actually want to read Alicia Silverstone's book "The Kind Diet." I don't care about killing animals, I think God put them here for that. But I think that a lot of the junk I eat is not good for me and maybe if I broaden my knowledge of healthy foods and recipes. And learn about what the processed food is doing to my body it might be a helpful motivator toward change. I don't know, we'll see.
So there they are, in black and white for all the world to see. I guess we will find out what happens.
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