Saturday 2/13/10
Today has been a very emotional day. I actually almost didn't weigh in because I was so flustered that I thought if I don't loose any weight then I am going to burst. I just couldn't take any more bad for the day. Luckily my younger brother stopped by and was a blessing to talk to. So after he left, and I ate some dinner, I was able to weigh in. I lost 4 lbs this week!! Yea, I am so excited. I worked out really hard this week and so it is exciting to see that show on the scale. I did not change in inches this week but with last week's 2 in loss and the fact that I need to buy new pants I am doing great!!
I started the day nervous about being weigh in day. Especially worried about not working out yesterday or following my eating plan. I don't want to even think about all the details again of today so I will just say today did not go as I had planned. I had some errands to run with my nephews but they whined about everything. Then everything I did I thought about how it would affect my weigh in. I walked nearly a mile to and from the state fair grounds, a good thing. Went to Chick-fil-a was scared to eat anything so munched on what my 2 yr old nephew didn't eat. Was sure the fries were too salty but kept eating them anyways. Then because I didn't really eat it thew my eating for the day off. And then on and on with frustrations. From the min I got in my car I was crying all the way home. I was supposed to stop at walmart for something but just couldn't get myself together and was worried about food temptations. I knew I couldn't eat away these feeling so when I got home I put on my work out clothes to get to work. I did like 5 min and then while fighting with my ipod to work my younger brother stopped by. I think exercise may have helped but just talking to him and catching up helped calm me. I don't know why I was so emotional. And no its not "that time of the month." I actually want to just relate it to what everyone says about loosing weight that I used food to stuff my emotions down and so now as I loose the weight they are coming up. And think it makes sense. I can't even tell you how long it has been since I was a 26. I have lost so much weight I get to buy new clothes. Its scary and exciting. I have never been a yo-yo dieter so loosing weight like this is amazing to me. Knowing that I can do this. And even more amazing how doing the right thing just feels so natural right now. I love it! But of course scared that when I plato I will freak out or I don't know their is just so much to be scared about. So emotions, totally normal. And so now I have to learn how to handle them productively instead of just eating to push them away.
I didn't really exercise today. I did the 5 min of walking and a few ab exercises but that is it. I think I stayed within my calories as well even with the weird lunch. I kind of had a big dinner (sausage and egg omelette with half a bagel) and and then an hour later when I was still hunger, and I was sure because I tried just drinking water, I had a bowl of granola cereal too. I have no idea how to rate today and right now I just don't care. It was a weird day and I did the best I could in each moment.
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