Let's see where to start. I guess with this week's weight loss! This week I am down 3 lbs to 267!! Yea!! I was looking at my past weight history. I haven't been down to 265 since my birthday in March, so awesome! Today was so very tricky. Today was my church's 27th Anniversary and so they had a picnic lunch. I helped volunteer and we had barbeque chicken and pork, pasta salad, coleslaw, chips, and brownies. The meat wasn't hard to not eat but man did I want those soft delicious brownies. Actually last night I went to help for a little while. They had been cooking the pork all day and the smell of it filled the entire gym. Most people thought it smelled great but honestly I was a little sickened by the smell. I had no interest in eating what I was smelling. I was able to help with the meat because I don't care if other people eat it.
I am still trying to learn how to balance calories. I am also learning to remember to eat my leftovers. I am so bad about leftovers always forgetting to eat them and then having to throw them away. But this week I have been pretty good about getting to them before it was too late. One day I almost ate way too many calories before 3pm but luckily caught myself before I finished eating. Did I mention that I use an ipod app called Lose It to track my calories. So i was in the middle of eating some burrito's and was entering them into my app and realized, whoops too many. But it is ok I figure. Some days I am up and some days I am down. Yesterday i went over because I had a lot of carbs in the morning but then at night I went over with an apple and a banana because I was hungry. But I was down almost every day this week so it averages, right? It must seeing that I was down for the week. I did find it handy to have my weigh in after the lunch at church today because it definitely helped keep me from eating those brownies. Can you tell the brownies are still on my mind? That is alright I went to Fry's and got some vegan cookies to eat instead.
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Ok, now on a totally different note. I am feeling so out of place right now. Being single and 29 totally sucks. Who am I supposed to relate to. Single people, right? Well single christians are all in college and other single people just go out to drink which I don't do. So then the christians that are my age all are married and most have kids and although I work with kids and love kids it just isn't the same. And it's not like I am choosing not get married, like I am choosing to not have kids. This isn't a choice. So why.... Sorry. I try to ignore my loneliness but sometimes it is hard. Like at the picnic today at church. I had planned, instead of helping, to participate and eat with friends. But then I realized I don't have friends to sit and eat with. I have been going to this church since January and I love it and learn, grow, and serve. But I am still me and I still have problems making and keeping friends. Sometimes I wish I was just normal. That I could be like all those other people with friends that hang out and have fun together and yet instead it is just me.I didn't mean to get so depressing, and maybe part of it is because I was watching a depressing movie while I type this. But this is my truth even if it sucks.
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