Some Days

Some days, like today, I wish there was arranged marriages. Not that I believe my parents would have actually found a great guy for me but I am seriously bad at finding relationships on my own. I am 31, nearly 32 and I am single. I have always been single. This is not to say I have never loved. There was a guy I loved once but he chose someone else. It was painful and complicated and I wasn't able let him go emotionally until I saw his wedding pictures. Then I promptly removed him as a Facebook friend.

I am hopeless at flirting. I don't know how to do it or I do it wrong; I don't know. There is this guy right now I am interested in and I think he might be interested in me. I haven't seen him in a week and I miss hanging out with him. I knew I would see him today and I was so excited. So excited in fact that I lost all of my words and passed by him without even saying hello. What is wrong with me?! What I wanted to do, what I should have done is placed my hand on his arm, looked him in the eyes and said hi. Instead I over think and I think about the other people present and what if I am wrong and he will think I am crazy. See, I swear I will be single forever. God better be sending me a man that take charge of the relationship because otherwise I am up a creek without a paddle.