200th Post

It does not actually feel like that many. I know many others who are in the thousands of posts. But since blogger counts them I thought I would let you know. I took a look back and it looks like I started this blog back in January of 2009. I started it because at the time I had been posting blogs on myspace but it was being used less and less due to the new site called Facebook. Then myspace changed how the post showed, not allowing paragraph breaks. So I knew I needed a change and found myself here on blogger. I can say that I am glad I have this outlet to post about me. The number of readers has varied for two to twenty depending on the topic. Right now I have a concistant six people who read my blog daily and three to six more who catch up later in the week. I love this since I can not actually name those six people that would be reading this daily. So thank you taking your time to read my crazy ramblings. Now on to today's post.

Today I have been very reflective. At church I thought about how a couple of big things; money and going to see my sister came up. Both times I did not trust that God had me in his hands the whole time. I look at the circumstances and although I leaned mostly on Him I did not lean completely. He did not have my full trust. I wonder why it is so hard to trust someone that has never failed me?

With the end of the year approaching and with that soon my thirtieth birthday I have been reflecting on my life. Where I am at and where I want to go. I have no answers. In fact I have a lack of answers as God has not provided them yet. This is a hard place to be in. Just trusting. Just hoping that He has me in His hand and will guide my next steps. That He will be my lamp and the light for my feet. It is a hard thing to do. ...but I am going to continue to try. I am going to continue to trust He who has not let me down. For only God really knows where I am headed and it doesn't matter how many plans I make it is always His will that I actually want to trust.

This week I have some babysitting which is awesome. I am feeling a little nervous about whatching this one girl for so long. But I have plenty of experience and know that I will make it through. So till next time.