Monday Monday

I will try to be quick tonight. It is already ten and I have to get up in the morning. One of the early childhood teachers is going to be out and they asked me to sub. So I have to be to school at eight. Plus I really need a shower tomorrow morning because I didn't tonight so I want to get to sleep soon. I only stayed up so late because I love the show Hawaii Five-O and it was on from 9 - 10. I missed several episodes due to Nano last month and so I am happy to get to watch it again.

So my co-worker didn't show up today. We assume that she couldn't actually get a Dr. note for the time she missed so she just didn't show up. So now she is officially terminated. This week I will be working on my own again. I mean, my boss is there to help some to but she has other stuff she has to do so she is always in and out which is why sometimes I feel like I am working alone. Hopefully we can find someone soon to replace my co-worker. We do have two weeks off now so I am not sure how this is going to go. But I will just go with it, it's not like I can really change it anyways.

This morning the fridges were switched and now I have a new fridge. It is kind of weird because the door handles are on the opposite sides so I keep trying to open it on the old side instead of the new side. Once it stops raining I will try to sell the fridge I am not using anymore, it sits in front of my house now.

I was at Target today and looked at their coats. They have one that is nice on sale for only $40. I wanted to get it that moment but it felt like I was maybe making an impulse purchase so I decided to not get it. Then when I got to work I was offered the sub day tomorrow which is a nice bonus on my check. I still need to do the math but I may be able to buy the coat now. I am still not sure though. I kind of want to go to a different Target to see if they have any different kind of selection. The coat was in grey but I really want a black coat. The gray looked nice but I have always leaned more toward black.

I looked up flights again. I just can't help myself. Now if I fly out on Christmas day and then return on new years eve (which I know would be totally inconvenient for everyone) it would only be $237. But the flight back only has like 4 seats booked so maybe it will go down again. My thinking, very faulty I know, is that if I don't buy the coat then I would have more money incase the cost of the flight does go down more. But the faulty thinking of course would be that if I was going to go out there I would need a coat even more then being out here. Their daily temperature is at least thirty degree's below ours. A friend asked if I could check in on her dog new years eve night and the next morning so she could drive up to Vegas. I wanted to say yes, and I kind of did. But in my head all I was thinking was how much I still was wishing for a miracle to go out there again. Though of course my desire to go out there is so strong I keep trying to figure out how I could move. But of course if I can't afford to fly there I definitely can't afford to move there.

I know I am crazy. I hate feeling so conflicted. Is this normal? People move across the country all the time do they feel like this too? Somebody asked me what I was doing for Christmas and I being honest I said, "I don't know. My sister and her kids are across the country and my younger brother will be working and my house has no room for any Christmas decorations. It is on a Sunday so I guess I will go to church." The older I get the more I realize how much traditions always change.