I was tempted. Rather, I am tempted to not post this. A month ago I wouldn't have cared. I would been honest and posted it without thinking. But now that I have followers and people that comment on my blog I worry. So I am going to take a deep breath and post the truth because that is all that I have to give you.
The last two days I have eaten horrible. I do not even know how many calories I have had in the last 48 hours. Last night I got dressed in my workout clothes but never made it on my Gazelle. Sometimes I feel guilty about it and wish I did better and other times I don't. I know that I have been eating bad for more then a decade and it will take time to learn... I don't know. I know what I should eat and how much I should eat. I guess it is just... I don't know why I do this. I need to figure it out. Why I choose food I know I shouldn't eat. Why I overeat.
I have never tried it before but I think it is time to keep a food journal. Listing what, when, and why. I think I will just put it in a note taker so I can see it all listed. I just went and found an app called Push+Pop where I can just list the information and then it is ready for the next note. It puts everything on one list so I will not be able to use this app for anything else but that is ok. I will let you know how it goes.
That is about it for now. Till tomorrow.
Hey Angela, I think a food journal sounds like a great idea. I've never used it myself (I'm terrible at anything to do with journaling/keeping track of things) but I've heard that it's a great strategy. It's already evident that you're good at journaling, so I'd guess you'd be great at keeping track of your food.
ReplyDeleteWith regards to your dilemma about eating badly...it's a bad habit, and habits are really hard to change. One reason I've been following your blog is because I feel like I can relate to so many of your troubles. Controlling my diet is still one of the things I struggle with the most, and just like you, I also know better, but still do it anyway. I'm sorry that I can't offer you the solution to your problem, only support and understanding and the knowledge that you're not alone in your struggles.
Um. Though one thing I've gleaned from around the web (and you've probably read this before) is to try to incorporate healthier items into your diet. Don't worry about calories and stuff (yet), but try to make it a habit to add in whole grains, fruit, veggies, or whatever is healthy AND yummy to you. The key is making being healthy easy, and one way to do that is to make it a habit.
Either way, don't worry about disappointing your readers or anything. We're here to support you through your ups and downs. I hope we inspire you to get healthier, but I'm not going to judge you because you fail. However, I will cheer you on whenever you succeed. :)