Hello my blog reading friends. I know it has been a long time and one of you (violinist) recently pointed this out to me. So the question is "How am I doing?" a great question but let me first tell you why I haven't been posting.
Here I blog about me. My truths. I put everything out their for you to read, the whole world to read. I try to live my life under the thought that if I am embarrassed by it I shouldn't be doing it. So with that I can post my life because I am not ashamed of it, or at least I shouldn't be. I write about everything. Personal life, church, I am careful with work posts, family stuff, everything. This is my journal. I have never really been fond of a hand written journal. I type so much faster then hand writing and so it closer to the rate the thoughts flow from my head. The speed is also a time saver I find. :)
So why? Why did I stop writing. I have been asked this several times, recently actually. I have had many excuses but I think the truth is that I was still hurt from what happened with I applied for the priorfatgirl blog. If you don't remember I had applied to be a regular poster on there. I made it to the top ten and then when I posted about myself on the blog I was torn apart due to my grammar. I tried hard to pretend it didn't hurt and I also worked hard at trying to teach myself better grammar. The truth is that every time I posted that was all I could think about. Did I make a mistake? Did I miss some grammar error that people are going to make fun of me for? Even a few lines ago I had to stop and correct a their to a there. So my posts became less and less as I became more and more self conscious of what I was putting out into the world to just be judged on. I spent more and more time on each blog trying to make sure everything was exactly correct.
Well no more. I am who I am. I struggle with learning names and I sometimes can't read a word that I have read a dozen or more times. Sometimes my brain just does not understand that there is a difference between their and there or loose and lose. I don't know why my brain is this way but I do know that I am okay with who I am. See because if you don't like my grammar then you don't have to read my grammar. And some days, like yesterday, I am going to post from my iPhone or I won't have time to re-read what I have written and so it may come out a little jumbled and confusing. I may mix up words and it won't be perfect. But I have so many more important things to think about and spend my time on then worrying about a random stranger on the internet not liking my grammar. So thank you to everyone who encouraged me to start posting again. I will.
A quick what have I been up to.
1. Received my AAS degree in Early Education
2. Currently work at a private preschool where I teach a class of 4 year olds full time.
3. I am still actively involved in my church, Living Streams. I help with nursery, sunday breakfast and have now added college leader mentor to the list.
4. I still think about the mission trip to Belize I took last May. I can't believe how long it has been since I was there.
5. Not going for BA yet, first year teaching is crazy enough on it's own.
6. Dealing with teeth issues. In Oct I had an extraction and a root canal. Then end of Nov the root canal cracked so now it has to be extracted plus I have another root canal to have done but the timing keeps not working out but I can't let it get worse because I am already down two molars I am not going to loose a third. - Brush your teeth and make your kids brush their teeth.
7. Finally got a smart phone, love it!
8. Not dating and haven't lost any weight recently just maintaing which is good.
Hi, my name is Angela and welcome to my blog. This is a place where I write about my life in an honest and open way.
I am 36 years old, single, and a Christian. God gave me a heart to work with children and so I spend my day teaching kindergarten. It is my fourth year teaching and although it is hard I love it. I currently go to a college for my BA in Elementary Education which keeps me busy. Between work and school there is not much time left but I enjoy serving and helping others, watching netflix, or reading a good book.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
This weekend I spent a lot of time serving. I usually try to be in the background but sometimes the way I am helping is in front of people. I don't mind especially when I am working with kids. I love that!
The problem with being in front of people are the comments. "Why do help so much?" "You are amazing!" "I can't believe all you do." "You make me feel so lazy." On and on with comments. It is nice. I appreciate the comments and everyone means really well. The problem is that after I hear this over and over I start to think about why I am doing so much. Then as I go to clean up church breakfast, by myself because my helper forgot and is sick. I walk into a dark and quiet gym and I just want to sleep. I push the carts to the kitchen and stare at them. "I don't want to. Can't someone else do this?" Then I stop myself and close my eyes as I lean against the cart full of work to do. "Why am I doing this?" I ask myself and I immediately know that I do it because He called me to it. I don't do any service because I want the praise or the recognition I do it because God has placed it on my heart to do it. He has given me joy with children, a contagious smile and an eye for details. So I as I remind myself of exactly why I am in the kitchen cleaning it is easy to go back to work. The work comes easy and I don't mind it.
The last church I went to people would often say to me "there is another jewel in your crown." At first I was confused I didn't understand what they were talking about. I hadn't heard this before. I was told that we are given a crown in heaven and when we serve Christ it adds jewels to our crown. This has never really sat with me well and honestly I have looked and there are no verses that actually say this. However in 1 Peter 5:4 it says when Christ returns we will be given a crown that will not fade away. There are many other verses that do say we will get a crown of righteousness and gold. This weekend we were singing a song during worship with the words of throwing our crowns at the feet of Jesus. I have sung this song many times before but this weekend in the midst of receiving praise it finally clicked. I don't know what kind of crown we will have or if their will be jewels on it but if there is I will throw it at Christ's feet because what I do is not for the jewels or the praise it is for my Heavenly Father who loves me dearly.