About Me

Hi, my name is Angela and welcome to my blog. This is a place where I write about my life in an honest and open way.

I am 36 years old, single, and a Christian. God gave me a heart to work with children and so I spend my day teaching kindergarten. It is my fourth year teaching and although it is hard I love it. I currently go to a college for my BA in Elementary Education which keeps me busy. Between work and school there is not much time left but I enjoy serving and helping others, watching netflix, or reading a good book.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Something New

So here I go again. Another attempt to shed the unwanted pounds. I have tried a million things before and none have really worked. I have been working on myself through Celebrate Recovery and other small groups I attend. With school, work, and a mission trip to Belize I have been so overwhelmed that my weight was not at the forefront of my mind. Now school is done, I am back from Belize, a week with my sister's family visiting is past and now I feel like it is time. Time to take a new step toward having a healthier body.

I know what you are thinking, what interesting (gimmicky) thing is she going to try this time? Glad you asked. For at least a year maybe longer I have been using protein powders and meal replacement powders off and on. It is easy and provides the nutrients that I need. Plus I am always on the go and these are fast and portable. Nature's Bounty has a new line called Optimal Solutions. This includes a shake mix in either chocolate or vanilla. I went through two containers of this. It tastes good but I can't get the powder to fully mix in. I normally use a blender bottle but also tried a mixer. I would say 98% of the powder mixes in but the other two percent stays in small chunks. I did buy a second bottle so it's not to annoying but something I noticed. I did run into a problem that it made me gassy. I am slightly lactose intolerant so I suspect it was the lactose but I don't know for sure. Concerned about lactose I bought a Naturade Total Soy meal replacement. I bought a large bag from Sam's Club in chocolate. This is good but it is very thick. I often add extra milk to thin it out. With both I use my soy vanilla milk.

As you know I am always looking for the next "fix" to this weight problem. Though some internet research I came across two shake based programs; ViSalus and Ideal Shape. Each use their shake as the base of their program and then provide additional products to supplement it. ViSalus provides only a vanilla powder and then with their kits include flavors that you can add to your shake. They have many supplements but the one I was thinking about is a hunger blocker pill. Many reviewers I saw recommended having these in addition. Ideal Shape has shakes in both vanilla and chocolate and their shake has hunger blocker included in the powder. They also focus on not just the food but on the mental aspect and their kits include hypnosis cd's. I have tried hypnosis in the past with no success so when comparing the two I did not include this aspect.

The cost of ViSalus is more expensive per month and from my research they have a  larger following then Ideal Shape. However through much online research it appears that Ideal Shape tastes better. In addition Ideal Shape leaves you fuller without having to take an added pill. Still the cost seemed high so I was hesitant and continued to look around. The internet, trying to be helpful, kept advertising GNC Total Lean products to me. So I went to see what they had to offer and how they compared. They have the shakes in over ten flavors. They also have hunger blocker pills to take as well. Checking reviews people seemed to find success using these products. The most interesting thing about the Total Lean is on their web site. It encourages you to take a Total Lean Challenge and then to find your plan. You put in your basic body type information and then it gives you a meal plan. No where on the meal plan does it tell you to use their product! Who does that? I figured the point was to get me to use your products but instead you are laying out a plan of healthy foods for me to eat. I love that!

So which did I select? I went with Ideal Shape. I bought a 60 day supply and included I have two hypnosis cd's that I will use as they lay out in their plan. I was shocked by how fast the products came but why wait right? I decided to also supplement it with a couple of GNC Total Lean products. First is a CLA pill that helps cut fat faster, specifically targeting the stomach area. The other product is their Pre-Diet Cleanse. It is a liquid that I drink four times a day between meals for two days.

I started the Pre-Diet Cleanse yesterday and am continuing it through today. I am supposed to only eat fruits and vegetables during the 48 hours so I am trying my best. Yesterday I started out with a strawberry smoothy for breakfast, had hummus and pita chips for lunch, and then dinner was a modge podge including a salad, cherries, and a cucumber. The drink isn't too bad. I mix 4 oz of the product with 4 oz of water. It has a citrus flavor but because it separates and I because I am supposed to drink it slowly the last gulp is usually the worst. At this point I haven't really noticed it do anything but will continue throughout today as well.

Tomorrow I will start my Ideal Shape plan. I decided that I want to try and replace two please with shakes and have a sensible dinner. The shakes are not many calories so I will include healthy snacks in between meals as well. I will try to keep you updated on how this all goes.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

To Daydream

          I love to daydream. To let my mind wander to alternate paths for my life. To envision a life that I will not lead, like a fairy tale. This is how I come up with my NaNoWriMo stories in November. An idea that started as a daydream becomes words on the page. This week I have been daydreaming.

            This week reality has been hard. My church family lost two members this week. One to a freak accident while changing his breaks, something I have done many times before myself. The other to a battle with cancer. I knew both in passing but I was not close to them. However all week I have seen the pain that my circle of friends have been going through. The stories and pictures the post or talk about. It is a reminder of how fragile we are and how we never know when our time is up.

            For me I pull away from reality. I make up stories about the life I wish I was living. Dreams of marriage and children; now they even include ways of helping or living in Belize. As I sat in church tonight worshiping and praying I found myself kneeling at the feet of Christ and He didn’t want to hear a story. No, He wanted to hear my heart. To know how I felt and what I was going through. He didn’t want to hear about some fake version of myself but from the Angela He had created.

            As I drove home I tried to think again back to the story in my head but I couldn’t. See the reality is I hurt because my friends are mourning the loss of their friends. I am confused about what is next with work and fear that I will not join the right company. I hate that I am not getting the hours I thought I would over the summer and that now I feel rushed to find something else to help me pay my bills.

            It is okay to daydream, I am sure I will do it again in the not too off future. Doing it instead of feeling how I am feeling or instead of taking my emotions to Christ is not what I should be doing.