About Me

Hi, my name is Angela and welcome to my blog. This is a place where I write about my life in an honest and open way.

I am 34 years old, single, and a Christian. God gave me a heart to work with children and so I spend my day teaching kindergarten. It is my fourth year teaching and although it is hard I love it. I currently go to a college for my BA in Elementary Education which keeps me busy. Between work and school there is not much time left but I enjoy serving and helping others, watching netflix, or reading a good book.


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Week 12 - 4 lb gain

So if I just don't blog about it then its not true, right? Ok, well no but I wish. I want to use the fact that I went on a woman's retreat with my church this past weekend as an excuse. It was Friday and Saturday and I didn't worry about calories while I was away. But with a 4lb gain i know it was more than that. Last week I did work out some. I went hiking tuesday, thursday and friday. Each time burning about 800 - 1000 cal per my heart rate monitor watch. But with about a 3 mile hike taking an hour that seems about right calorie wise. On Saturday morning I did 20 min on a treadmill (100 cal) but that isn't much so I kind of feel like it doesn't really count. I know last week I did eat out some as well as several late night binge eating. So not doing well. I am trying to be more on track this week so we will see how that goes.

Monday I got called in to work early so I worked 9.5 hours. I had brought my hiking stuff with me but was way too tired to go hiking. After dinner I ended up eating 100 cal pac of popcorn and a slice of home made cake my brother made. I did much worse the week before but this was still too many calories so late. Today I did go for a hike after work so about 900 calories burned. I was pretty excited because on the way down to keep my heart rate up I have been trying to do little sprints. I had some previous shoe issues so I hadn't been sprinting lately but today I did great. I am so excited about it!! After dinner this evening I had another slice of cake (it really is delicious) but then I also had a bowl of chocolate granola. The granola is all natural and I used silk milk so it was relatively healthy. But it is more calories than I should have been consuming. Plus I know I filled the bowl way too high.

Oh but an interesting thing I did. At my woman's retreat I heard about a local organic co-op that was recommended to us. I know my brother and his wife have been looking into them and then I have been considering them since it would (hopefully) get me to eat more fruits and vegetables. So I talked with my brother and he said he would split it so I placed an order. It was with www.bountifulbaskets.org and for an all organic basket it is $25 (you can get non-organic for $15 but I prefer organic.) I had to place the order between Tue at noon to...I think it is wed at 10pm. And then you pick up sat morning. There are dozens up pick up spots around the valley and I happen to have one less than a mile away. You get other stuff like bread or seasoning, I didn't get either of those but I did order 7 dozen tortilla's for $10. Thought that was a pretty good deal. I guess sometimes they have granola too but not this time. I will let you know how it goes. They say it is supposed to be 50% fruit and 50% veg so it should be a good mix. Check it out if you are in AZ and even if you aren't they actually cover a few other states as well WY, WA, UT, NV, ID.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Week 11 - 1lb loss

So four weeks ago I was at 257, it was exciting. Then I gained 6 lbs and have taken the last 4 weeks to loose it again. As I have mentioned it before I really haven't been trying. I know I need to exercise but I just can't get up and do it. I have been eating mostly healthy because that is what I am used to know but I keep eating out and then eating too much at night. I have really tried to stop and think about it and last week I realized that I am scared of 250. Here I am at 257 and I seem to be sabotaging myself. I think I mentioned it before but I have pulled out some old pants I used to fit into. Well the last time I fit into them was back in high school. I keep trying to tell myself "no it hasn't been that long" but I know that it is true. And I think that is why it is all so scary.

I can make the statement that I have lost 60lbs in a year but it doesn't seem that big to me for some reason. Lately I have had a lot people compliment how I good I look and I am always shocked. I still feel so BIG! I feel like I have forever to go but in reality I haven't been this small in almost 10 years. That is a huge accomplishment. But it is scary, I have always dreamed about being smaller. I have used my weight as an excuse for things that in reality I was totally scared of. And boys, ok I am 28 now so men. I am so not going there right now. :)

My brother called it a plateau and I guess it is. Not a physical plateau but a mental one. I know I need to push past it. Get down into the 240's and never go back. I need to stop thinking so big and just think about this minute. What can do now to get me to that goal. No starting tomorrow and instead starting right now. So hopefully I will have better results next week. I hope that I can keep this week's pound off and keep heading toward healthy!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Jealousy

Not about weight, instead about God and me.

I hate it! I hate when I get jealous. I usually notice pretty right off of the feelings of jealousy which is good. Last night I was at church and the pastor was talking about creating a timeline from the day you were born till 78 years later (the average current lifespan.) He said he marked down all of the important things in life. Now the point was to demonstrate that after he accepted Christ at 17 and then listed significant things in his life: went to bible college, mission trip in europe, then a month backpacking through Ireland telling about God, getting married, spending a year in Belize with wife as missionary, mom dying, dad dying, becoming pastor, having kids. You know and I just look at his life and say "wow." Obviously I don't really mean the parents dying part, already lost mom don't want to loose dad anytime soon. But the travel...and the missionary work...and having a spouse and kids and sharing my unfailing love for Christ with my spouse. And then I look at my life and I don't have that stuff. What do I list? And all my failures run through my head. And then sad things, mom dying, loosing my house.

I try to remind myself that my path is different. That I may not have gone to Belize for year but for the past 6 years I have been committed to the Awana program at my church. That I may not have gone to Ireland for a month but I changed my work schedule so I could help with Vacation Bible School. I know that I try to do my best and I try to follow God's path my life. But it just makes me think, am I listening to God? Am I doing His will? I always wanted to be a missionary. Though when I dropped out of bible college mostly because I didn't want to work with other students because I am shy I kind of realized that I never could have been a missionary because...well...I am shy. So I am who am and my life is how it is. Would those experiences have been awesome? Of course! But that wasn't my path, this is my path. Of course I am still totally jealous of Ireland cause I totally want to go there, its like my goal location in the world.

So I think I need to make my own timeline. And I don't know if I will include Awana's and VBS, they don't really seem big or important. But I will try to make sure that I make at least as many positive if not more than the negative. How about your time line?

Week 10 - 1 lb loss

I am still dog sitting so I didn't make it home sat night for my weekly weigh in. But I did stop by my house after church so I could change to go hiking. So I weighed in. It said I gained 1.5 lbs! I was so mad although the idea of ice cream flashed through my head I went and changed and went out for my hike. I didn't understand and although I tried to deny I was mad but an hour by myself hiking I couldn't deny it. I was good with my food. I ate out some but I tried to make good choices. And then other times I wanted to go out to eat but came home to eat instead. I made good snack choices. Plus I tried to get in some exercise everyday. It wasn't the video's I had been doing but hiking is good for you. Though I do recognize that hiking I only get about 2 miles an hour and at home I get 4-5 miles an hour. Plus when hiking I have to take breaks sometimes because it becomes hard to breath. So I don't know but I was just angry. I didn't understand.

When I got home I took a shower and got dressed. You may remember my goal chart I made. So i started filling in the exercise I did over the last week. When I got to the end of the week on he chart I am supposed to mark my weight down. But I couldn't remember what my weight was. I clearly remember seeing the +1.5 lbs and I was pretty sure it said 258 but I wasn't sure. Last week's weigh in was 259 so how could this week be 258 if I gained? I was totally confused. So I went and checked again. Turns out I weighed mid-week in the morning so I did loose a lb. And you know what I am happy with one pound loss. I just felt like what was the point of trying so hard if I was just going to fail.

So it was a super stressful morning for no reason. But I am happy how quickly I went to exercise instead of ice cream. Though now thinking about it makes me kind of want ice cream. But here I am watching Mama Mia instead so I will try to be good. I don't know what I am going to do though since it doesn't look like hiking is more helpful. And actually because it takes me 10 min to drive each way to the mountain is probably less effective than my video's. I feel confused now.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Spring Break Week

To be honest I wasn't really looking forward to this week. But so far it has been great!

Monday:
I didn't do much. I started my day at Denny's. Then I tried to work out but got frustrated because I didn't really want to be exercising. I went shopping at Sam's Club and Sunflower Market. I got everything I wanted and didn't spend to much. I also started working on a puzzle I recently bought of the Seattle, Washington. It has been awhile since I have had time to do a puzzle so I am excited to do this one.

Tuesday:
I woke up early and went down to the library. I got their at 8:30am and they opened at 9am. I was able to get a free pass to go to the Phoenix Zoo. I was so excited as it saved me $19. Then I drove out to the Botanical Gardens. I have never been their before but have always heard about it so I thought I would check it out. Overall I kind of feel silly for spending money to see plants I can see all over AZ. Though they did have a pretty cool butterfly exhibit. You are in the room with the butterfly's and they are flying all around. One landed on my hand, it was pretty awesome. I walked the entire thing; took 2 hrs and I walked about 1 mile total. I had lunch at Baja Fresh and stopped by Zia's and picked up New Moon and 2012. I went home and watched some tv for awhile. But I felt motivated, I really enjoyed walking in the morning. So I changed clothes and went out on a hike. I had heard of some trails near where I work and the mountain isn't as high as camelback so I thought I would try it. Well I am glad I did. It was challenging but not as hard as the vertical on camelback. From the trail map I estimate I did a total of 2 miles in about an hour. I wasn't as sweaty as some of the men that I saw running up and down the mountain but it was a definite workout. Though it did totally ruin a pair of my tennis shoes, next time I will try my hiking boots. When I got home from my hike my brother was out. So I took a break and then went over and worked out on the wii fit plus. I did 30 min of games and then 30 min of stepping. So an hour total and 350 calories. So it was a good exercise day.

Wednesday:
The plan was to go to the movies and shopping on wed and then on thur the zoo. But the weather said it would rain thursday so I flip-flopped it. I wanted to get up early but ended up sleeping in. I got to the zoo around 10:30 am and spent about 3 1/2 hours their. I wanted to see all of the animals and well I wanted to walk as much as I could for the exercise so I did see every animal. I estimate I walked about 3 miles total. I had planned to eat something at the zoo but when I got in line and looked at the menu I saw nothing good on list. Everything was snackie and not healthy. So instead I pulled out my water bottle and a snack I brought. On the way home all I could think of was a hamburger so I did stop on the way home at McDonalds. Not so healthy but I did order medium so I was proud of that. I was sore even that evening and still felt it this morning. So many mountains to climb up and down and different dirt trails plus sore from the day before. I was so proud of myself making such healthy choices. I had wanted to go to the Phoenix Art Museum but because I had to switch days and then woke up late I couldn't go. I don't know if I will go tomorrow night when it is free again. I have been their many times and not sure how tomorrow will go yet.

Thursday:
This morning I had a dentist appointment at 8am. It was actually kind of short and it only took a half hour to get my new crown in. Around 10am I drove out to the Anthem Outlet malls and had a leisurely stroll. I didn't really buy anything but some lotion at Bath and Body Works. Unless you are spending a bunch of money you don't really save anything. But it was nice today so being out and about was good. Next I went down to Happy Valley Rd to the Norterra shopping center. I still had some time before my movie so I went to Johnny Rockets for lunch. I was honestly disappointed. I think the best part was the five cent juke box. The food wasn't very high quality and the fries were gross. It was way to expensive for the food that I got. But the waitress was very friendly so that was good too. I went and watched The Long Song with Miley Cyrus. It was a cute story so I do give it a 4 out of 5 but it was really predictable and ridiculous. It is one thing when you know you are going into a cinderella story but I didn't know that is what this is. Anyways totally cute but totally unreal.

So this weekend I am dog sitting for a friend. She has three dogs and she had to go to Vegas for her daughters wedding. So I start watching them this evening till Monday. I figured no big deal since I have done this for my sister before but it is kind of different since I have never been in her home before and so I feel a little uncomfortable. I always try to settle in, bring my own food. Put all my stuff in the bedroom I am using and of course have my laptop. And then being the internet addict that I am I started to worry that I wouldn't get internet service but I have it just fine here so that is a relief. The house is less than a mile from my house so I think I might go home a few times. I really want to do my Saturday night weigh in and then I also want to wear a dress on sunday for easter and know I would feel more comfortable showering and shaving in my own bathroom.

So I think tomorrow is going to be hiking in the morning, then a Star Wars movie marathon, and if I need to get out of the house then downtown for the ArtWalk and the Phoenix Art Museum. But now I am going to go find some dinner, oh man I just realized I forgot to bring my tortilla chips. Which is funny since I took the time to pour salsa into some containers to go with the chips I was planning on bringing. Oh well I will figure out something.