About Me

Hi, my name is Angela and welcome to my blog. This is a place where I write about my life in an honest and open way.

I am 36 years old, single, and a Christian. God gave me a heart to work with children and so I spend my day teaching kindergarten. It is my fourth year teaching and although it is hard I love it. I currently go to a college for my BA in Elementary Education which keeps me busy. Between work and school there is not much time left but I enjoy serving and helping others, watching netflix, or reading a good book.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

HCG - P2D12 - Happy Update

So I don't know if something just clicked for me or it was the changes I made or maybe just because last week I was sick but I am doing great now! I still feel hungry from time to time but I now have more options then just drink water. I will drink some green tea or chew some gum, both have been life savers. But most importantly I am covering this in prayer. Anytime I get hungry or are tempted to snack or cheat. Yesterday for snack the kids had Cheez-its, I love them. But I got through. And then last night I came out of Target and the air smelled like french fries so I grabbed my bottle of green tea and I made it home without cheating.

The lbs are coming off quickly and it is exciting!!

Mon: 257.5
Tue: 254 - lost what I gained with cheating
Wed: 251
Thur: 248.5

Last night as I was driving home from Target I got so excited thinking that even if I lost just 1 lb overnight I would be at 250 by this scale (the wii fit already registers me their.) I was so excited because for the last 8 months or so I have not been able to break past the 250 lbs. If you are a long time reader you know that I have tried eating right and exercising but my body just wanted to stay at 250. And then overnight I didn't just loose 1 lb, no I lost 2.5 lbs so I broke through that 250 weight, I am now on the other side and I do not want to go back up there again. I hated feeling stuck like that, it was so frustrating!

I know that this is like my first week instead of my second and I will probably not always loose this many lbs a day. I know that even as I sit here typing I feel hungry and know I should go start the tea kettle to get my first glass of green tea in my system. But I am happy to see it working. It is exciting to feel how loose my pants are. Actually last night it was frustrating. I was at Awana's and sometimes I literally run around the building but my pants keep falling down. Today will have to be a belt day, no falling pants for me. But every time I was frustrated I stopped to remind myself how exciting it was that I was loosing inches. I tried to remember that this was actually a good thing, even if I had to run holding up my pants. :)

So for now I am pretty happy. I am hoping that by the end of this week (another 4 days) my body might be more used to this and stop being so hungry. Last night I was trying to sleep and actually heard my stomach growling. It is hard to go to sleep hungry, tends to keep you awake. So I said some more prayers and luckily fell asleep pretty quickly.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

HCG - P2D10 Try, Try, Try Again

I haven't posted in awhile and that is because I was trying to figure out what I was going to do. As you know I cheated on day 1, then I cheated on days 6, 7, and 8. I kept going back and forth between quitting and not quitting. I finally decided on day 9 I quit. On Sunday I ate whatever I wanted, I didn't care about the protocol and what I should eat. I was done with HCG and I was happy.

The thing is I was still taking the spray. Part of me still wanted to do it. On Sunday night I took my measurements. My neck is down 1 inch and so are each of my arms! My pants were feeling loose but I was only down a 1/2 inch from the previous week. I couldn't believe it though, I can never seem to loose size on my neck and especially not my flabby arms. So I started looking up more info online. I found several people who had success because they stretched "the rules" a little and still did great. Little things that I thought would help me through.

Chew gum or have hard candy as long as no cal and sugar free it can help with cravings. Drink green tea or take green tea pills to help with hunger. You can eat turkey and tuna. Flavored waters are ok, if no calories (I already discovered that.) Right now I can only eat apple, strawberries, or grapefruit for a fruit but I read that I can eat oranges too, it isn't a huge deal but maybe having a cutie orange when i feel like I am hungry may do the trick. The protocol also says don't mix vegetables, only one per sitting. But I found several people who were successful even though they mixed them to make a more exciting salad, and they still lost lots of weight. I say variety is the spice of life and I think being able to make more choices is going to help me.

I started on Monday with a commitment to do 7 days no cheating. The other thing with this is I am actually, finally, treating it like with my fast. I am praying constantly! When I am hungry, when I am tempted, when I start craving things. I am praying all day long. And honestly it is so much better this way. Before I questioned whether or not God wanted me to be doing this, I really felt like it was a God and satan battle. And so yesterday when I covered this in prayer, when I finally invited God to help me with this choice in my life He was there for me. I am not surprised by this but more like happy that I finally did what I knew I should do all along.

Now is it easy? No it is still not easy. Like I said I was praying all day long. I am hungry often and working with kids I am around food quite a bit at work. I know that this is going to be a challenge. I am hoping that after 7 days my body is more used to the 500 cal days so I don't feel so hungry. I do realize that every time I cheated I was destined to feel hungry the next day.

So on Mon I did not cheat. I ate what I should and this morning it paid off. I lost most of what I gained with the cheating and am now back down to 254 lbs. I will post below my weight chart.

Thank you so much for your prayers and support while I go through this. It is truly appreciated!

START DATE: October 15, 1010
GOAL WEIGHT: 160 lbs
P1D1: 260.0 (+0.0) Starting Weight
P1D2: 264.0 (+4.0) After first load day
P2D01: 262.0 (-0.0) I got a sore throat, didn't load as much as I should
P2D02: 259.5 (-0.5) Only counting loss from original weight (cheated, had cereal and ice cream)
P2D03: 255.0 (-4.5) Wow that is a big drop
P2D04: 254.0 (-1.0) Drank a flavored water from Fry's yesterday, wonder if I would have dropped more if I hadn't.
P2D05: 253.0 (-1.0) Followed everything so maybe water wasn't a problem yesterday
P2D06: 253.0 (-0.0) Binge ate last night, ice cream and mcdonalds
P2D07: 254.0 (+1.0) Ate again, I am feeling miserable on this protocol which makes it hard to stick to.
***** END WEEK #1: WEIGHT (000.0 LBS) LOSS (00.0 LBS/KG) WAIST (000.00 IN/CM)
P2D08: 257.5 (+3.5) Cheated again, this makes 3 days cheated in a row
P2D09: 257.5 (-0.0) Quit the plan, ate nothing on protacol
P2D10: 254.0 (-3.5) Decided to try again, no cheating = loss

Friday, October 22, 2010

HCG - Mental Breakdown

I failed. Yeah that's right I cheated. Tonight I was stressed over money and then somehow in conversation a past boy issue came up. I tried, I really tied. But I failed. It started with one Klondike bar, then went on to a second Klondike bar. Then I was really messed up and went out to McDonalds and had 2 Big Mac's and a large fry. I know, no wonder I am so overweight.

But I did take my spray tonight anyways. I know that long term this is what I need to do. I know that this is what I must do if I want to live a long and healthy life. So tomorrow I will continue with my 500 calorie days. The overeating tonight will set back my weight loss and I know that. I also know that I feel sick from eating so much. I wonder what I will feel like tomorrow. I will let you know how much I gain from this binge.

START DATE: October 15, 1010
GOAL WEIGHT: 160 lbs
P1D1: 260.0 (+0.0) Starting Weight
P1D2: 264.0 (+4.0) After first load day
P2D01: 262.0 (-0.0) I got a sore throat, didn't load as much as I should
P2D02: 259.5 (-0.5) Only counting loss from original weight (cheated, had cereal and ice cream)
P2D03: 255.0 (-4.5) Wow that is a big drop
P2D04: 254.0 (-1.0) Drank a flavored water from Fry's yesterday, wonder if I would have dropped more if I hadn't.
P2D05: 253.0 (-1.0) Followed everything so maybe water wasn't a problem yesterday
P2D06: 000.0 (-0.0) Binge ate like 1000 calories

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

HCG - Phase 2 Day 4

So totally excited in 3 days I have lost 6 lbs! That is an average of 2 lbs a day. This is pretty cool. Ok, I am feigning excitement a little. I have been hungry everyday and craving all kinds of foods. Yesterday I went to Sprouts and next door is an In and Out, it took all my effort not to go over and get some delicious food. I am also pretty tired. I have been sleeping 10 - 12 hours a night. I stuggle because I am supposed to take my spray every 12 hours but if I wake up too late then I have to stay up late to take the next spray. But this shouldn't be a problem, staying awake for 12 hours shouldn't be difficult.

I am thankful that I have been telling people about what I am doing. My boss/friend is totally curious about it so she asks a million questions but I don't really mind because she is also way encouraging. My brother and sister-in-law are also encouraging. They are way helpful especially in the evenings when I just want to eat junk.

I am trying to stay positive. Trying to remember that the positives out weigh the negatives. I wanted a little bit of a boost today so I went to try the Wii. If you remember we thought it was broken but weren't sure so I went over and tried it. It was loud but it still worked. I knew that my weight on the wii is lower than my scale so I was kind of excited. I had right to be my weight came in at 247!! That's right I am under my dreaded 250 lb mark that seemed to defeat me the last 7 months. Woo Hoo!! Ok, I still have to drop below 250 on my scale, I am currently at 254 so it shouldn't be long.

So if you are keeping record. Day 1: .5 loss (I cheated) Day 2: 4.5 loss Day 3: 1.0 loss (drank a flavored water I wasn't supposed to. So there it is 6 lbs gone from my body.

Monday, October 18, 2010

HCG - Phase 2 Day 2

Let me say this, this is not easy. I mean sure it sounds easy right? You just spray your mouth twice a day, only have to eat 500 calories and they are planned out too. And supposedly you aren't really ever hungry. And well I guess that is all true but not quite the full story.

For two day's you binge eat. I ate so much on day one I was physically sick. Day two I did eat healthier fats but I got a sore throat so it was hard to eat. And I tried to go to dinner Saturday night but it didn't turn out very well.

Then on day three, which is called Phase 2 Day 1, you stop eating and switch to 500 calories a day. That is difficult! It is this mental game. You get excited to loose weight and get in the right mind frame for it, then switch over to binge eating, and then all of a sudden stop. Sunday I just kept wanting to eat out and had to stop myself. I was hungry through out the day and then in the evening after I had already eaten I was still hungry and so I cheated. I had cereal and a Klondike bar. I know not good. I also realize that half was hunger and half was mental hunger.

Today I have done better. I wasn't as hungry today. I figure my body needs to get used to the change. But here I am in the evening feeling hungry again. It is frustrating. Ok, let me clarify. I am not like starving I am just a little hungry but still its annoying. And I have mentioned before how much I hate going to bed hungry.

Ok so you want to know how it is working so far. First of all I am weighing in the morning because it just works out better. So I started out at 260 lbs, I gained 2 lbs during my load days taking me to 262 lbs. This morning I woke up (so after 1 day of use) I am at 259.5. So I kind of lost 2.5 lbs but I feel like it is only .5 lbs. Either way its not bad especially because I cheated.

For now I think I am going to stop talking about food because it is making me hungry. Post again soon.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

HCG - Phase 1 Day 2

Ok so today is day two of my "fat loading." They tell you to stuff yourself all day and eat lots of fatty foods. Ok so here is what I ate yesterday.

Jack in the Box Ultimate breakfast sandwich, hash browns and french toast

Starbucks: Venti pumpkin spice frappaccino and cheese danish

Felt way to sick so only had a bag of honey roasted peanuts

Starbucks rocky road cake on a stick and small bag of cheddar sour cream ruffles

Two slices of cheese pizza (babysitting and that what kids had)

2nd Dinner:
Jack in the Box: Ultimate bacon cheesburger and large curly fries

Slice of very sugar apple pie

Ok first thing I have to say is what I ate today was totally gross. At some points while I was eating these things I actually felt nausea's at the idea of eating what I was eating. But I kept eating because I am trying to trust the process. But here is where the problem came in: When I woke up this morning as I was laying in bed my heart felt slow. I think that is the best way to say it. I have felt it before when I eat to much fat, its like there is just too much fat in my arteries and my heart is screaming STOP! Ok, its not painful, I am not having a heart attack. It is more like I can physically feel the arteries in my heart clogging. So today I am going to do something different. Today I am going to focus only on good fats.

The list of good fats is pretty random. It's not like I am just going to drink olive oil or eat salmon all day. I did find a woman's blog who felt like I do, that there must be a healthier way of doing this. She went to Whole Foods and got Tuna Salad, Egg Salad, and Flax crackers. So I am going to follow in her footsteps and go do the same. I read walnuts are also good so I will pick up some of those too.

The program I am following comes with a site where people blog and post about what they are going through. I see many people say that it is important to "fill" so you don't feel sluggish your first week but I wonder if part of this is so you get sick off the food to help teach you how unhealthy it all really is. I am going to bet yes on that one. Alright, got to go shopping so I can be done before its time for me to babysit.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

HCG - My order arrived!

I have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of my HCG order. As I said I ordered it on Mon. Monday was a holiday so it should have gone out on Tuesday meaning it would arrive Thur or Fri. But I wasn't sure, the payment is still pending and none of the e-mails actually said that it was shipped but I was hoping. And it arrived today!!

The first step of the program is to eat as much fat as possible for the next two days and then start on the spray on day three. This works perfect because I like to weigh myself on Sat nights. Yes I know you weigh less if you weigh in the morning but then that means if some random point of the day I step on a scale then it will always look like I gained weight; and I don't like that. Also on this program you are supposed to weigh daily but again I don't think I can do it. It is supposed to be motivating to see you loose every day but then if it slows down or stops I will freak out and I don't like freaking out. They say that you aren't really plateauing unless you don't loose for 5 days or more so I figure if I don't loose in a week I will stop and see what I am doing wrong. Oh, did I get ahead of myself. For a woman they say the average is too loose .5 lbs a day. Now because I weigh more I will most likely loose more than that but still the average is half a pound. So that is 3-4 lbs a week or about 20 lbs in the full 6 weeks. Because I weigh more I have decided my goal is to get rid of 35 lbs in the 6 weeks. Now keep in mind the woman I know that has used this lost 50+ lbs in the 6 weeks so it is likely that I will loose more but want to set a moderate and realistic goal.

So for two days I am supposed to "force feed" myself (their words not mine) as much fatty food as I can. So this means all day Friday and all day Saturday I get to eat yummy, delicious, totally unhealthy foods. Ok, honestly I think this might be hard. Even today I forgot to eat lunch because I just wasn't hungry, but I am going to try. Plus it is kind of expensive. I don't have that kind of food in my house right now so really it means I am eating out for two day. Oh, I am totally going to Carlos O'briens for dinner sat around 7pm if anyone wants to join me for a last meal. :)

After the two days I go into Phase 2. During this Phase I use the spray I got today, 2 sprays twice a day. And I only eat 500 calories. They are very specific about the food as well. I get two meals each consisting of the same 4 things: 100 grams protein, 1 fruit, 100 grams veg, 1 melba toast. Only certain proteins, 3 different types of fruit, and about 8 types of vegetables are allowed. It is pretty restricting. So if you know me then you know this is going to be a challenge. I don't like writing down my food and I don't like being told I can't eat certain things. So during this time I am really going to be praying a lot and leaning on God for support. In fact I am kind of looking at this time as a type of fast because I don't think this is not going to be easy for me at all. It will be a true test of my will power at times. But I am glad that I know that and already recognize it.

The injections are normally for 43 days. According to the web site that connects me to others who use this. It says the bottle actually lasts closer to 50 days. Right now my goal is to do 47 days. The reason being is this gives me a full 90 days. If you remember how I made a calendar on poster board for my 90 day goals. So I did the same for this and so 47 makes my calender work out with all three Phases of the program.

Oh yeah and there is one other change. My brothers Wii is broken which means I can't weigh myself on that anymore. If you remember I switched to weighing myself on that because it was a lower number than my scale and seemed a bit more accurate compared to a Dr scale. But without that I am going to weigh myself on my scale. So I just weighed myself I am at 260 lbs, 42% fat, with 36% water weight. ...I just realized I don't know what I should use as my before weight. I was thinking the weight on first day of phase 2 but that is after the fat load so I would be heavier so should I use the number from today at start of phase 1. I will look it up and let you know on my next post. I guess that's it for now.

Monday, October 4, 2010


I have a cold. It started with a sore throat Sun morning. Sun night I had a fever of a little over a 100 degrees. So I called out sick. Well of course stupid me mentioned that I had a fever when my boss texted today to check up on me. So not only did I miss work on Mon but also have to miss it on Tues. I don't really understand day's off. I mean, yes I understand I am sick and need to not get others sick. But I hate just sitting at home. I have a fever which is causing a headache and a runny nose. But knowing that I am needed at work while I just sit around and watch tv. I think I get it from my mom. She never let us stay home when we were sick. We had to be on our death bed if we were going to stay home. I am trying to accept it. Ok actually I am pretty low stressed about it compared to most times I get sick. I want to get better and get this out of my system. I know God has already taken care of my loss of income for these two days. I also know that i am not expected to never call in sick. We work with kids so it is expected. But hey it does mean that I am already half way through my hulu queue.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Tail Spin

Ok so yesterday I realized I was in a tail spin. I ate breakfast at denny's, had carmel frappachino for lunch, mcdonalds for dinner, and then stopped at a gas station and got ice cream for desert. I was anxious all day from all this boot camp, hcg, fasting stress. Last night I was up till midnight watching a movie and then couldn't sleep because I was so stressed out. So last night I decided I am not doing boot camp anymore. I am not getting any benefits from it, instead I am actually gaining weight and spinning into a cycle of depression so no more. I let the boot camp girl know this morning I won't be back. I had registered for the second boot camp but I am going to see if I can unregister and maybe gift it to someone. If not then it was only $30 and my sanity is worth more than that.

This weekend I am spending some one-on-one time with nephews. One loves to cook and the other loves to shop. So food will be involved with both. I do have a four day weekend next weekend so the current plan is to fast for four days next weekend. I plan to do a "regular fast" no food but lots of water. I am hoping that during this time I will find some clarity about the HCG thing because I am to back and forth, split in the middle right now about it.

This morning when I woke up I felt like a weight was off my shoulders. I am still not sure about these shoes because they kind of remind me all day I am trying to loose weight but I am used to them now so I am going to see if I can handle them. Well off to work now.