About Me

Hi, my name is Angela and welcome to my blog. This is a place where I write about my life in an honest and open way.

I am 36 years old, single, and a Christian. God gave me a heart to work with children and so I spend my day teaching kindergarten. It is my fourth year teaching and although it is hard I love it. I currently go to a college for my BA in Elementary Education which keeps me busy. Between work and school there is not much time left but I enjoy serving and helping others, watching netflix, or reading a good book.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

To Daydream

          I love to daydream. To let my mind wander to alternate paths for my life. To envision a life that I will not lead, like a fairy tale. This is how I come up with my NaNoWriMo stories in November. An idea that started as a daydream becomes words on the page. This week I have been daydreaming.

            This week reality has been hard. My church family lost two members this week. One to a freak accident while changing his breaks, something I have done many times before myself. The other to a battle with cancer. I knew both in passing but I was not close to them. However all week I have seen the pain that my circle of friends have been going through. The stories and pictures the post or talk about. It is a reminder of how fragile we are and how we never know when our time is up.

            For me I pull away from reality. I make up stories about the life I wish I was living. Dreams of marriage and children; now they even include ways of helping or living in Belize. As I sat in church tonight worshiping and praying I found myself kneeling at the feet of Christ and He didn’t want to hear a story. No, He wanted to hear my heart. To know how I felt and what I was going through. He didn’t want to hear about some fake version of myself but from the Angela He had created.

            As I drove home I tried to think again back to the story in my head but I couldn’t. See the reality is I hurt because my friends are mourning the loss of their friends. I am confused about what is next with work and fear that I will not join the right company. I hate that I am not getting the hours I thought I would over the summer and that now I feel rushed to find something else to help me pay my bills.

            It is okay to daydream, I am sure I will do it again in the not too off future. Doing it instead of feeling how I am feeling or instead of taking my emotions to Christ is not what I should be doing. 

1 comment:

  1. We have something in common, Angela. I'm also a Christian who attends a non denominational church. I'm also a writer. I've been working on a story for about a year and a half. I've only got about 3 chapters left and then I'm done. I'm on chapter 29 now and I'm hoping it'll get published. Also, it sounds to me like you know when your focus should be on God so I wouldn't worry about daydreaming. We're writers, we can't help but daydream. It's what we do...lol.