So I don't know if it is the job and knowing I can pay my bills or actually I have started taking my "happy" pills again which helps mellow my high and low moods. My bet is on the pills. But either way I love being happy, its nice.
Anyways, today I was driving to work and I always drive with the windows down except if I am on the freeway or the heat is just too bad. So my window was down and I went to put it up when I got to the freeway, it did not go up. It made the noises but no movement. I was so mad!! See you probably know this but in case you don't or to refresh your memory. I had a car I bought in 2000 when it was 2 years old, it was a '98 Nissan Sentra. I was 18 and it was my baby. Then I totaled the car, had no money and with what the insurance paid to me I could only afford '95 Nissan Sentra, 3 years older but this new one was automatic and had power windows neither of which the old car had. The car is a clunker. It has some part wrong that isn't "life threatening" (which is required with the lemon law) but it does mean my check engine light is always on. Also the front passenger window does not go down, but I knew that when I bought it. Since then the internal light went out, my right speaker went out, the ac only works sometimes and often stalls the car when being used, and although all tires have great tread 1 likes to go flat needing to be filled every 2 weeks, a second goes flat over 1 month period and the spare tire doesn't hold air at all. Which would be fine if I had some sort of expendable cash to fix them but I don't so I just deal with it.
So when the window went down and wouldn't go up I was so mad. I wanted to just scream!! I hate this stupid car! But instead I took a breath and was happy it was just a window and not a tire blowing out or my engine failing. The car works, the doors work that is all that I need. I decided to ignore it. I tried to look up info online about how I could fix it or the cost. It appears to be at least $200 and the details were very lengthy so I couldn't do it on my own. I was sitting here watching tv and I start to hear the wind blow, I go to the window and I can smell the rain coming. I can't leave the window down, my car will be soaked. I don't know what to do, find plastic I guess to cover the window, but what do I use. But somehow (praise the Lord) I was clear headed enough to not freak out and just stopped, walked over to my brother and told the situation and asked for help. He goes, "The window won't move? Pull it into the light for me and I will see what I can do." It is like 10:30 at night he is not only in the middle of a movie but also working on a painting and he just stops and helps me pull apart my car to fix the window. It turned out he just had to remove 8 screws partially pull off the inside of the door and then we were able to pull up the window. I am so happy!!! I don't need the window to work, I need my car to be dry.
But this just reminds how much I blessed to have a car that works and more importantly a family that really loves me. I always take them for granted but especially in the last several months while I felt like world was crashing down on me they have all been there to help hold up the walls while I got to my feet. I don't know why I have always taken them for granted or I don't know... not realized that they are there for me when I need them. So family, if you read this. Thanks! Thank you for being awesome when I sometimes go totally crazy and can't think straight. Thanks for just being there for me you all rock!