This year I am feeling old. I usually don't mind my age. I have lived each year learning and growing from the year before. Unlike most women I don't mind telling people my age. I have lived these years, why hide them? This year I will be turning 32 and for some reason it is really getting to me. It feels so…old.
I have thought about it. Why this year? What is different? It may be the time I am spending with college and 20's age people. Compared to these 18-26 year old's 32 seems so far off. I have also noticed the wrinkles around my eyes begin to appear and the greying hair of a friend my age. I think about the fact that I still have no boyfriend making me at least 2 years from marriage and at least 3 years from having a child. Although 35 is not too old have a child, it is getting very close to the too old to have a child age.
I have started to think about what I haven't done. I haven't lost the weight I had been hoping to for so many years. I have traveled some but not like I really wanted to when I was younger. I wonder if I have been adventurous enough, explored enough, been a witness for Christ often enough?
In the last couple weeks I have started hiking. It is nice to get out of the house and just hike. It clears my mind, gives me time to work thoughts through, and most important time with God. I realized this week there is a mountain less then 5 minutes from my house. How have I not realized this before? How did I miss before how beneficial hiking is for me both mentally and physically. So much better then hours and hours in front of the television.
It is said that we can only move forward. I can not change what I have missed out on or what has passed me by. Instead I have today and then tomorrow to take new steps on the path I desire.
Oh, and what will I do for my birthday? My birthday is Wed the 12th. On Fri the 14th - Sun the 16th I am going on a mission trip to Mexico with my church. We will serve in a variety of ways and I will pour out love on the children of Rocky Point.