Lately my face has been breaking out. People have always said how great my skin was and I always wrote it off because I think I have big pores. But now that my face has all of these big splotches I totally understand what they were talking about!
I keep trying to figure out how to get rid of them. I have been washing a little more and most of them are on the sides of my face so I try to make sure I am not leaning on my hands or anything. But when ever I get rid of one another pops up. It is so frustrating! I have even been looking into getting a facial or a peel specialized to acne because I just want it gone. But I can't really drop $60+ on my face.
So I have been trying to figure out why is this happening and I realize it probably is stress. There is nothing huge going on, weighing me down. But I think it is a bunch of little things. Like some women at church who totally frustrated me last week and although I keep praying and trying to let it go every time I think about it I am mad again. And then problems with my brother and my constant lack of money. And lately I have been thinking about finding a husband and feeling God is bringing one soon (I might post details about that later) and that is stressful. And then both of my jobs have gotten a little more stressful which is not what I want. That is why I live so poor so I can have a job I love not so I can be stressed that I might have to go answer phones because the receptionist decided to leave a day early for her vacation and I am the only one to cover the phones. I don't want that. If I wanted that stress I would go make a lot more money for someone who would give me a lot more hours. And although i am not really feeling the stress I am sure that the fact that my condo will be auctioned off in a month, ruining my credit for the next 7-10 years is not really cool. Oh and then my sister. What can I say about that except that I just try not to think about it. Which then makes me feel bad that I am not calling or writing more but I just can't seem to get myself to do it. It's like I really want a hair cut but I keep giving myself excuses because when I go get it done by someone else it will really mean my sister is gone. I know I know not dead but still it hurts. Even worse I know that she reads this so I kind of want to delete those lines but you know what I am not going to self edit today. (I love you April!)
It is just a bunch of little things. Just life moving forward. Not more than I can handle I just need to figure out how to handle it in healthy ways instead of eating horrible food and being sloth. Oh and staying up way to late. It is totally 1:30 am and I have been tired since I got home from babysitting at 11 so I don't know why I am still awake since I have to get up in 5 1/2 hours. Bleh...Which then just makes me think about church again and how upset with the ladies I am. And how stupid it is since they probably don't even realize how much what they did bothered me.
Anyways, there it is. Me stressed about life. Now if I could just get my face to clear up because like everyone says "At least she has a pretty face." I totally don't right now, bleh.