Never Considered This Before

Over the last few months I have started considering the idea of gastric bypass surgery. I have never considered it before. I always thought, no way I can do this on my own. I thought it was too much and too restricting.  Now I feel like I need that help. I have tried for so long and I fail over and over again. I start and I try and try and I don't feel like I ever see the results for all the work I do. I stress eat and overeat and underestimate how much I eat. It is all so hard! Not that that surgery would be easy. You really never eat again. It would be so hard, and painful, and difficult. I don't know.

I mentioned before the documentary I watched called My Big Fat Body. At one point a doctor recommended surgery and he said he wasn''t interested. I think about what if he had? It would have been hard but he would still be alive. Later I ended up watching a New Zealand documentary about people getting gastric bypass. It followed several people before the surgery but it really cover them after except quick looks of the weight loss. It worked great for all of them. They all seemed healthier and happier afterwards but it was a tv show.

I feel like if I don't do something now then I will die soon. I know that sound dramatic but I weigh 300 lbs and have for over a decade. My blood pressure is crazy and I don't have insurance to get pills to fix it and don't really want drugs to fix it anyways. What is next diabetes and sleep apnea? I feel like I at a point where my health is just going to get worse from here unless I make a change.

So here is the other thing. I just started a new job. I have been there awhile and am just switching to a full time position. I took a look at their insurance and it is actually affordable. It doesn't really fit my tight budget but it is affordable enough that I feel I really should get it with recent health issues. So I thought, well is it possible that I might be covered for a weight loss surgery? I don't have a full list of covered options yet so I don't know if even the highest plan would cover it. I did a search to see if the ins company they use cover weight loss surgeries at all and they DO. There was a whole page detailing out when it is covered and the restriction and details. It turns out I actually wouldn't qualify! I guess that is good but kind of bad too.

I am a BMI of 44.5 right now. If I was over 50 BMI with my high blood pressure I would qualify. Because I am between 40 and 50 I would need my high blood pressure and either diabetes or sleep apnea. So I am not sick enough which is good but... also disappointing.

This leaves me to do it on my own. I still have to do something because I know I can't keep going as I am for long.