Two things happened after I posted last. First I started to plan what I would do if I did go to seattle. I got very excited and found plenty to do for not a lot of money. The second thing I did was figure out if I could fly there. I was concerned about whether I am too large to sit in a standard coach seat. I looked it up, the standard size of a coach seat is 17 in wide, the size of a business or first class seat is 21 in wide. Now I was hoping to compare it to a movie theatre seat but after much searching that info isn't available online and right now I don't have the time to go watch a movie so I can measure the seat. So instead I took a look at the size of my office chair and then a few other places I sat and tried to measure the spot. Which yes, I know that this is kind of weird but how else do I figure it out. Anyways 'my seat' appears to be around 20 in wide. So coach seat will not work. So I took a look at any other flying options. One seat is $200 round trip, so obviously 2 seats $400. Now 2 seats are cheaper than business class which runs $800. But $400 for air is too much money. Some of the airlines do have the option that if there are empty seats on the plane they will refund the second seat but I don't know if I would want to risk this. The other option is to drive. Which I can get the time off so I can drive but first I don't know if my car will make it and second driving the 6 hrs to Albuquerque drove me crazy I don't know if I can do 22 hrs alone in the car.
So now I am all...I don't know I guess flustered but not really angry since my weight is my fault. I am still really excited to go to seattle but I shouldn't be spending $500 anyways so spending $700 isn't really a good idea. My sister recommended maybe a train. So I looked up Amtrak; I would have to drive to flagstaff, it would cost $300, and it will take 45 hours each way. Oh, and on the way their 1 transfer, on the way back 5 transfers switching back and forth between bus and train. So that's out of the question.
Today I went and had my hair cut, it was getting pretty long. I sat down in the stylist chair and I hated the image I saw. Normally pictures and stuff don't really bother me. Maybe it was the way I was sitting but I felt so round. So I did kind of realize maybe I should spend the money on loosing weight instead of traveling. Plus, ok don't tell my nephews, but my sister is trying to figure out how they can go to Disneyland over the summer and I have an open invitation to go with if I can afford and take the time off. So I should instead save the money towards something like that. Plus even if that doesn't work out if I could loose a little weight now and then flying to seattle later in the year isn't the worst thing. So again, as I feel I have done a million times before I am going to attempt to loose some weight.
It just feels so redundant and it is hard to get myself not to feel it is just going to fail again. I know my biggest problem is that I do always 'diet' and not 'change my lifestyle' but I don't know you can cut your calorie intake in half and say it's not a diet. We will see. But for now spring break vacation is cancelled. :(