I usually don't do resolutions but I think this year I need to use this "new year" as an opportunity for change. My resolutions are really what I always try to work on and the standard resolutions for most of America. They boil down to three"
The first is my finances. As you know I moved out of my condo into my dad's place. I work two part time jobs which keeps me busy seven days a week but I Love both jobs and the pay is exactly what I need. (Totally a God thing, all thanks goes to He.) The problem is that I have become lax in this. If I write it all out I have plenty of money for bills, food, and a couple "extra's." But when I start indulging my desires instead of needs at the end of the month it doesn't work out....Ok, let me be honest. Over the last two months I have started eating out at a restaurant for lunch at least once a week plus going out to eat on Sunday's which usually means not just food for me but nephews as well. When I look at my bank statement for the last month or two I can see that most of my money is going to food, really for food I am paying someone else to prepare for me. I know why I do it, its totally psychological. We never ate out as kids whether sit down restaurants or fast food. So I always feel "fancy" when I go out to eat. Like it is a sign that I am doing well that I can eat out often. But I also intellectually know that nobody really cares except maybe people that are jealous and really I shouldn't be creating that for other people as I know how it feels. But I guess its like for some girls who go buy a new fancy purse or pair of shoes giving yourself that "I'm important" feeling. Anyways, I have to stop spending and start being responsible. Pay down some of my debt while I have this opportunity to do so.
I hate to admit it but God is not first in my life. It is even obvious by the fact that He is third on my list. I go to church and bible study and I try to learn what I am hearing. With my recent increase of books I have been adding christian fiction and non-fiction to my list. But the personal relationship is...distant. I go to long between prayers, when really it should be daily. I know that when I was doing a daily devotion I enjoyed it but I haven't done one for so long. So step one is go through my current bookcases and find a daily devotion to follow. Step two a dedicated prayer time every day. It can be with the daily devotion or in addition. But I have to start talking to God regularly again! Step three is to get more involved in bible study (I have already started bringing a note book to take notes in the last two weeks.) But possibly looking for a small group to attend during the week. I used to meet with a group of friends but that fell apart. They are currently doing one for couples (being single I was not invited.) So I will need to branch out and see if I can find one with maybe a different church that I would enjoy.
The last is my weight. So it is actually pretty exciting but it feels so small I don't like telling people but I have been tracking my weight for years and in the last 7 months I have lost 30 lbs! You can't really see it on me and I only kind of went down a size but when I think about it it is pretty exciting. I have been doing more of a push to loose some weight since I moved and I am glad to see that it is actually working. It is also motivating to the fact that if I was more dedicated I would see more of a loss from month to month. It's not really about the way I look; even if I haven't found a guy that thinks so I think I am beautiful. But (and I have probably said this before so sorry for the repeat) I want to have babies eventually and I can't at this weight. Also I know that weighing this much is not good for my heart. I am only 27 and I shouldn't wonder if my heart burn is more than that or a sore arm is something more serious. So I can't believe I am about to admit this but I actually want to read Alicia Silverstone's book "The Kind Diet." I don't care about killing animals, I think God put them here for that. But I think that a lot of the junk I eat is not good for me and maybe if I broaden my knowledge of healthy foods and recipes. And learn about what the processed food is doing to my body it might be a helpful motivator toward change. I don't know, we'll see.
So there they are, in black and white for all the world to see. I guess we will find out what happens.