Recently I have started to notice how weak I have been getting. My lack of regular physical exercise is evident when I try to do things that were once easy and now much more difficult. The following are two specific examples:
1. I was driving home from bible study last thursday evening. I was nearly home when I saw a woman pushing a car out of the middle of the street. I can relate, I have had cars stall due to a dead battery or overheating. So I pull over to the side of the road and run over to help. But I didn't really help. I have helped with this sort of thing before. In fact it is one of the many reasons I keep towels in my car, in case I need to touch a hot car. This time as I pushed, it did move but I just felt weak as I did it. I want to be strong enough to help someone with something as simple as pushing their car out of the road.
2. Today I got an early morning phone call from the principal at the school I work for. They needed a sub and my name came to mind. So I went in and helped for all day with first graders. This is a wild bunch and there is never a free moment. After eight hours there and then another hour and a half after school I was worn out. I had to stop for groceries and although my body protested I knew I needed to get it done. After I got home, and put away the groceries, I just laid down on the couch. My legs screamed out at me like I had just put them through a tough workout. When I think about it, compared to what I have been doing, it was a workout. But it shouldn't have been. Last year I would go from a full day with preschoolers to three hours after school. It has been a couple years but I know that after eleven hour days I would go to church on Wed nights and work with even more kids for another three hours. So coming home and complaining about a nine hour day is crazy.
So you would think, "Great she is motivated. She is going to get to exercising." Yes, I probably will but first I have to fight off my need to buy new equipment. Every time I get this exercise bug I want to go out and buy something new. I suppose it has to do with a "the last thing didn't work maybe this new thing will." All afternoon I have been looking at new treadmill's, mine is a decade old and I hate it because you can't really choose your speed. You slide a bar and hope for the best. I also looked at getting a bicycle. My brother and his wife have been riding a lot so now that is on my mind. I try to remind myself that I don't really like being outside and no I probably won't get up at 6 am so I can go for a ride before it gets hot. None the less I still look online and price them.
Here is the rub. I am broke but only kind of. I knew this would happen. I tried to prepare myself mentally but it is still difficult. When I decided to work part time to finish school I knew the only way I could do it was to take out student loans. I worked out a budget so that it will last. As I said before a tight budget. Well that worked out pretty good until I get the e-mail notifying me there is $1500 in my checking account. I have been living broke for so long it is so hard to remember that this money has to last me through January when I get the other half. So as I look at new equipment, that I honestly do not need, I think about the money sitting in my checking account just waiting to be spent. I mentally slap myself but it is still very hard.
Yes I realize I am like a kid with birthday money just burning a hole in their pocket. This is what I need to be working on. Not looking at my bank balance but at what my budget says I can spend. In the last week I have spent more then my budget will allow. As a result I have not entered my purchases into my app, as if that would somehow not mean I spent it. Tomorrow as I sit down to do homework I will also need to spend a little time updating my information. I also need to move some of the money to my savings account. I just haven't done it because I hadn't done the budgeting to figure out exactly how much needed to stay in checking and what needed to go to savings.
So I need to get moving. I have so many options at my fingertips not moving is just laziness which I don't want to be an option anymore.