Note: this was typed on iPhone and may have some errors due to autocorrect. Please excuse these.
As I was getting out of bed this morning my thought was " Why do I torture my body like this?" Yesterday pretty much sucked all day. So after getting home in the evening I decided, instead of just quickly getting my homework done and going to bed I went to Denny's instead. I was there way too late, did my assignment wrong and barely turned it in on time. I did get to bed around 1:30 am which isn't that bad. But because I drank so much caffeine right before bed I woke up every hour or so to go to the bathroom. So when I had to get up t 7 this morning it was tough.
As the realization that I am torturing my body I also realize that it wouldn't be as bad if I was torturing it with exercise. The image of Colin Ferrell's character in SWAT exercising till he threw up and then just kept going has always stuck with me. Why can't I torture my body that way? Okay I realize I shouldn't torture my body at all.
Then of course because I am running late and have no caffeine in the house, which I will surely need to prevent a horrible headache from attacking m, I go to McDonalds for breakfast. So the body already feeling tortured is being fed two greasy McMuffins and a greasy hashbrown. Smart, I know.
I need to do better but feel stuck. I mean even last night after making the previous post I was thinking about how I should start preparing my body so that it is most capable for getting pregnant when the time comes. (You may be lost if you didn't read previous post. I don't even have a bf let alone a husband but have had kids on the brain lately.) Then what do I do I feed it more junk this morning.
I think the worst thing is that I realize I am torturing the temple God has provided for me. I don't take care if it and I let in all this junk. I think about how Jesus visited a church and in the outer courtyard there was a market and bartering and gambling. How upset Jesus was that they would defile his sacred place. Am I not doing the same thing? I eat junk and am lazy not maintaining my body with exercise. I allow unpure thoughts and images in. If I saw Jesus what would He say about how I have defiled the temple that is me?