Co-Worker Frustration

I am so upset. The current policy from the school work in allowed my co-worker to no-call no-show for seven working days before we can terminate. And that had to include my boss calling her four times of the seven working days. That is insane! What kind of policy is that? But it came from the lawyers. So today, wednesday, my boss gave her a call, as per our lawyers. Keep in mind we have not talked to her since thursday when she called out with 1 hour notice. We had heard on friday night from her boyfriend that she was in the hospital but that she would call when she could. Well apparently she was able to call today.

She called this afternoon and said she just got released from the hospital and she could work tomorrow. First I don't understand why she was in the hospital for seven days for an appendisitis. She said she had a bladder infection as well but you don't stay in the hospital for a bladder infection, you go home with a prescription. Second if she had to spend seven days in the hospital for her appendix I don't understand how she can come back to work tomorrow.

My boss, not wanting to deal with her, said she couldn't come in tomorrow because she had to check with HR first. She, totally reasonably I think, wants to have my co-worker have to sign something saying that if she no-call no-show's again that she will be terminated.

The whole thing is just frustrating. But now I just feel fed up with her. If she comes in Friday, which I think she will. I will just be very work oriented. She always wants to chit chat and talk and sit around doing nothing. No more. I don't care if it upsets her. I need someone to help me that I can trust and will be reliable and she is not either of those things. I have a teenager who volunteers sometimes and he is more helpful then she is!

Part of me thinks I should be nice. She just got out of the hospital and doesn't feel well. But then I remind myself that just because I am Christian I do not have to be walked on. And I shouldn't have to do two people's jobs because i want to be nice. So now I want her to come Friday because either she will shape up and get serious or leave. We have bent over backwards for her trying to be nice and helpful and it is just too much now. This is a job and she needs to either get serious about that or quit.

I know I am clearly very upset. But if you had to watch 45 kids on your own for 30 min when the ratio is 1 to 20 then you would be upset too!

Alright I think that is it for now.

Secret Santa = cookie fiasco

I should again be sleeping and yet here I am writing to you. I blame my nano habit of writing daily for 30 days, now it is a habit I don't want to break. But hey that just means I am telling the world more about my crazy life.

I had mentioned before how I am doing a gift exchange at work. The idea is week 1 a $0 gift, week 2 a $1 gift, week 3 a $4 gift, then on the friday of week 3 a $10 gift with the reveal of who you are. I was feeling confused about what to get my person but finally figured it out. My $0 gift was two books from my bookcases. One I had no problem parting with but the second my pack rat side tried to keep it. Luckily I have plenty of experience keeping my pack rat in its cage and so I wrapped up the books and took them to school. The girl had said she like books with humor or self help. So i gave her a little book of Dr. Seussisms and a devotional book from Women of Faith. It is the later I had a hard time giving up but I have owned it for four years now and haven't read it so it must not be that important to me.

Next up on the list is the $1 item. I decided I would bake her some cookies. She said she liked chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies. I had most of the ingredients at home, rather my brother and his wife did. So I bought some chocolate chips and macadamia nuts. They were a bit over a $1 but I figured I wasn't actually giving her all the cookies so it evened out. This evening I attempted to make cookies, this did not go over very well. My first batch of cookies were very runny. I knew it didn't look right but didn't know how to fix it since i followed the recipe. I put them in the oven and they came out as flat as nickels. Not what I was looking for. So determined to still make these cookies I found a different recipe, from toll house cookies. I made the dough and it looked great. I put the dough on the pans and stuck them in the oven. They too came out flat as nickels. I read the internet and realized that my butter must have been too soft. The internet recommended putting the dough in the fridge to make the butter harden. I left in for a full hour and after cooking the cookies they still came out flat. So now I have nearly 5 dozen cookies that all look horrible. They taste pretty good and the ones I put in the fridge are greasier then the ones I didn't put in the fridge.

I don't seem to be too upset about. Mostly just disappointed. I will just stop by Fresh and Easy on the way to work tomorrow and pick up some chocolate covered raisins which were also on her list. They will be a couple dollars but whatever.

I think the only part really bugging me is that it was a waste of time. I am still winding down from the Nano stuff and I only seem to have so much energy to do stuff. Which I know is stupid but true. So i decided tonight to focus on doing the cookies and spent a couple hours doing that. But it was a waste. That time would have been better spent cleaning the fridge I need to move to the kitchen, or doing my laundry, or doing the volunteer project I said I would do and have been putting off. I could have even cleaned the bathroom which needs to be done. Instead I have a 5 dozen cookies that I can't give away because they look so bad and no one in this house should eat them seeing that they are so many calories. Anyways, a little frustrating.

The good thing is that I have already purchased the other two items and have them already wrapped on my table and ready to go. The $4 item is a fragrence diffuser in her favorite scent that I got at Walmart and then the $10 item is the new 2010 Christian WOW CD. With a coupon it was on $10 which I think was a great deal for two cd's.

It is now tomorrow so it must be time for sleeping. Write to you soon.

Unwinding

Today is Dec 3rd and I am now officially done with my ML duties. I mean I have to still watch the site in case anyone needs something but that is easy. No more events, no more planning. The party today went well. I think I could have done with one more thing planned as it was a little slow in the beginning and then ended early. But overall it was good.

I plan to ML again next year which means making contacts with people to find free locations instead of all these coffee shops. But that can wait till January. I am also planning on doing a meeting every month with people to continue writing and editing their books but I think again I may wait till January.

Right now I just want to unwind. I want to get off caffeine again, being off from it for two months and then on again I feel like I am a slave to it. If I go one day with out, or actually my caffeine level is so high that if I don't drink enough I will get a headache. I don't need that. I also want to try and go back to vegan. Now I know what your thinking, ok your not really seeing that you can't see the inside of my fridge. But if you could you would know that I just bought two packages of turkey hot dogs which is totally not vegan. But to bad. I was actually thinking about it the other day that I am again not eating any fruits and vegetables. I don't understand why when i am vegan I eat plenty but now that I am not I avoid them. It kind of lets me know that mentally, at least for me, that vegan might be the best option. To help me stay healthy.

I haven't actually weighed myself but I think I have mostly maintained my weight. In fact lately I have been in my skinny pants so I may have lost some. I figure it has to do with me eating such basics like granola bars and pb & j sandwiches so often it has kept my calorie count down. Not that I am eating healthy by any sense of the word but less calories means weight loss.

Tonight I rented Green Lantern from Red Box. I cancelled my Netflix due to budget reasons. I cleaned up and packed all of my NaNoWriMo stuff away and then just laid on the couch and watched the movie. It was nice and relaxing.

I really need to get my sleep schedule back to something a little more normal. Last night I babysat so i didn't get home till 1:30 am but I then stayed up even later till 3am. Then today I slept till 11:30. I want to be on a day schedule. It just makes the most sense. So bed by 10:30 unless babysitting. And then wake up by 8:30. That should be plenty of sleep.

So my real challenge next year is if I can not let Nano disrupt my entire life. I mean I now have to get off caffeine, go back to vegan, and fix my sleep schedule. Yikes! Though at least I know how much I prefer having those the way they were.

Well it is 11pm now and I have church in the morning. So time for me to sleep.

Finally Over, Well Not Really

(Written Friday but posted Saturday.)


It has been a long day. No scratch that a long week! My coworker is crazy. Literally. She is either bipoler or a tweeker. Either way I now watch her more than the kids. In the last 21 working days she has missed eight of them usually with less then two hours notice, keep in mind of course we start at 3pm. It is not some morning job and so she is sleeping in. Sometimes she even says, when she is telling me the newest crazy story, that she knew the night before she wasn't coming. Then duh, why not call and say that. The whole thing has been frustrating. 

Then today she had said she would come, she had called out on Thursday so she was asked specifically if she would be there on Friday. Then she no call no showed! Today was the craziest Friday ever. We have more kids then normal due to some new after school classes offered. Then doing most of it on my own was just crazy. I felt worn out before half the day was over. An hour before we were done I felt so exhausted a literally wanted to lay down and sleep. My co-workers boyfriend did call to say that she was in the hospital with a burst appendix. Though he also said she had been there since last night and I know that it is a short procedure so why couldn't she call all day? I know I should feel bad but honestly I don't actually believe that her appendix burst. She has just lied to many times. 

So that is how my day has gone. I had a two hour break before I had a babysitting job. I didn't really have the money for it but I went out to Islands and got a burger and fries. They were so delicious, especially because I was starving. I stopped at party city and got some stuff for my TGIO party tomorrow. I am nervous about it but keep reminding myself it is a party it is going to be fun. I am sure it will be I just have a few details to work on tomorrow morning before it starts.

Another fun thing is my refrigerator is starting to act weird. While I was gone to my sisters for two weeks my brother had heard an odd noise from the freezer. We haven't heard it since but yesterday something underneath started to tick. Luckily we have a spare fridge in the house. So now I need to clean out my fridge so we can try to sell it and then clean out the other fridge and figure out how to get it in the kitchen. Ok that is not too hard my dad will come down for a party on the eleventh so he and my brother should be able too move them around.

I think that is it for now. Update you later with more co-worker drama.

Last Day of Nano

I did it! I am a NaNoWriMo Winner for the second year in a row! Ok, I had technically won the last time I blogged but I wanted to finish my novel before the end of November. So here it is at 10:20 pm on Nov. 30th and I have put an end on my novel. My book ended where I thought it would but the details of how it got there were not exactly what I expected. I am happy with my story. Though of course I have not read it yet and it will take lots and lots of edits before I will be ready to share it.

Right now I sit at a Denny's. This is my second to last outing as an ML for this year. I call this the last chance write-in. We had a total of six people come, including me. Three people still had not reached the 50,000 mark. One woman was doing some editing and then a second woman and I came to finish our stories. Now as I sit here there are three of us. Me, i just finished. Steph, who is at 112K and still typing away. And Robert, who still has another 2K to write in the next hour and a half. I am trying to be supportive but I don't think he will make it, he doesn't type fast enough. 

My last event as an ML (Municipal Liason) for Phoenix is to throw a Thank God it is Over Party. We are doing it at a Denny's so food and drink I don't have to worry about. I have been advised most of it is just to be hanging out and talking. But I am planning a few things to help keep the flow and make it fun. So I have a few things I need to do before Saturday afternoon. 

I am also supposed to be working on a budget for December. I had the three days off for Thanksgiving and then I have two weeks off for Christmas/New Years so I will have to be careful with my money again this month. I have a few more babysitting jobs lined up so that will be helpful. I am also finding several opportunities for volunteering which I love to do so that makes me happy. It is just the sitting down to do the budget and see my numbers is the hard part. 

On Cyber Monday Alegiant Airlines had a deal for half off flights on Christmas Day to Moline, so it was only $50 but to fly back it would have cost be $150 so it wasn't that great of a deal. I mean who really wants to fly Christmas Day anyways. Ok, I totally would have if the flight back wasn't so high. Maybe next summer I will be able to go out to see my sister. 

Let's see what else...There is a weird situation at work. I can't really talk about it. It is an issue/concern about a co-worker. I had taken up the line of management and hopefully it will have some sort of resolution tomorrow. Oh but I can talk about the gift exchange at work. We are doing this secret santa that involves giving four gifts over the next three weeks. I still haven't figured out what to give to the girl I have. We all filled out these forms of information about us. The first gift is $0 and she said she liked contemporary christian so I thought I could give her a cd that I already own. But the gifts are supposed to be progressively better and I don't know how I don't know where to go from there. The second gift is $1 and then 3rd gift is $4 and the last gift is $10 so you spend a total of $15 and don't reveal yourself until the last gift. I haven't thought too much about it though with Nano taking up my mind. I really need to figure it out soon though because the first gift is due by this Friday. I haven't gotten my gift yet so I don't feel so bad about not giving mine yet. Maybe I will stop and look at the list when I get home.

...Robert just won. I don't know how he did it so fast but he is done. Which means I get to go home now. With Nano not taking all of my words I should post more often. 

Black Friday

When I was 17 I convinced my mom that we should go shopping for black friday. Now this was twelve years ago and things were different back then. The first year we went out it was because several stores offered free items for showing up. It was there way of getting you out to their store on black friday. I remember a cookie tin at K-mart but not much else. The other thing I do remember is that we went to bed on Thanksgiving night because the stores didn't open until five or six in the morning.

The next year is more vivid in my memory. We went to JcPenny's and stood in a long line to get some free snow globes they were offering. Again it was in the morning probably five or so. The line wasn't very long maybe fifty or so people. My mom went outside for cigarette break and they happened to open the doors to let us in. Instead of being smart and handing out one to each person they had a table set up in the middle of the fragrance section. People ran to the table mobbing it. There were boxes with, I think 12 globes per box. People would grab a box and then just dump it in there bag. I found myself in the middle of this crowd not really sure how to handle it. But kept moving forward, I did want one to. When I got to the front, me being me, tried to start handing them back. I thought start handing them out and people would get what they want and the crowd wouldn't be crazy. But people didn't understand what I was trying to do. They just wanted to get to the front. So I took two, one for my mom and one for me, and got out of the crowd.

My mom was on the side of the crowd and she had tears in her eyes. "What's wrong mom?" I asked. She gave me a big hug. She explained how they had also opened the doors outside at the same time and she saw me in the middle of the crowd trying to help people in the middle of the madness and she was just so proud of me. I never forget that. I think it is one of my favorite memories of my mother.

I think we had one more black friday together. The stores opened at midnight and it was crazier out. There weren't as many free items so we just bought a few things and headed home. After mom died I have always gone out on black friday. It was like this tradition that I wanted to hold on to. That if I let this tradition go then it would be letting part of my mom go. So every year I would go and brave the crowds and buy something. Usually nothing important. In fact last year I found myself standing in a Toys-R-Us parking lot waiting to get in to buy some toy my nephew. The deal was ok but it was just silly to go out but it is this need. Even when I don't intend to I go out anyways.

This year is different. Months ago I had so, no black friday shopping. I remembered how last year I spent more money then I had on things I don't even use. I bought a stack of movies I haven't watched most of them more than once. In fact I was so caught up in the buying that I bought a movie that was blu ray only and I don't have a blu ray player. So this year I was like no shopping.

Well God heard me and He agreed. This year I have no money. I did a lot of praying this last weekend and God provided the money to take me through the end of the month. I have just what I need to pay for my obligations. If I spend anything on black friday I will come up short. I knew this. I feel like this walking on the edge is partly so that I won't be able to shop today. But it has been so hard.

I had Wednesday off work. My dad was in town and he and my brother for a large portion of the day sat at the kitchen table looking at online ads figuring out what to buy and comparing prices. They even went shopping at one point. Then today Thanksgiving we had the paper so of course we talk about shopping ads all day long. It gets under my skin knowing that part of me just wants to go out. It's my tradition and I have to keep that tradition to remember my mom. But then I remind myself that I still have that memory even if I don't go shopping for black friday. This year I bought a necklass with my mom's name and the date of her death on it. I don't always wear it but I did today. I had to keep her close to me. I had to remind myself that I am not letting her down, I am not forgetting her. I am just moving forward.

So here I sit typing on my computer with my sister-in-laws laptop next to me. My brother and his wife are out shopping but they want to order something online for her mother so I agreed to stay up and purchase it for them. I have to check every hour in case they post it early. I was doing just fine with it until I am reminded again of what I am doing. My younger brother walks in the house with the items he bought at a black friday sale. Then my dad wanting to play the "black friday game" starts talking about how he has his computer set up to help buy it incase I don't get it in time. He goes on and on about it and I don't want to hear it. I want to just go to my room but I know that he is too tired to stay awake another hour and I told my brother I would buy it and so I sit and listen to my dad ramble about how excited he is and the technical process of purchasing the item first. It is that rush, that feeling of excitement in the stores that I have come to love and associate with the black friday memory of my mother. It makes me anxious and can not stand it. I eventually speak up. Asking them to please stop talking about it. I am just going make a purchase online, its not a big deal and I need it not to be. I do not tell them how it affects me. I do not explain how emotional this day is for me. Because not only am I fighting this tradition I have with my mother who is gone all day I have thought about my sister and my brother-in-law and my nephews who I miss so very much. And it is too much.

Tomorrow they will talk about all the things they bought. I may try to escape but where would I go. Everywhere people will be out buying things and spending money and it will be in my face. So if you do not hear from me tomorrow it is because I am hiding in my room. Trying not to let black friday get to me. Trying to not let myself feel like I have ruined the memory of my mother because I did go out like I have for years now.

November

I have not posted in forever. Sorry about that but it is November. Did I mention that November is National Novel Writing Month or for short we call it NaNoWriMo. Over 200,000 people from around the world attempt to write a novel with a minimum of 50,000 words. 

This is only my second year however a leader needed to step up to help cordinate and encourage everyone in Phoenix so I decided to do this. So in addition to writing a Novel in November I am on the web site encouraging people. Sending out weekly e-mails and organizing write-in’s for people to go to. There are nearly a thousand people in Phoenix writing novels. To date we have writen over fourteen million words. But in the last few years, without good leadership, people did not attend events. So I have planned an event every day of the month, saturdays two, all around the valley. The average event has about three to five people attend. I was hoping for a little more success but this is good.

I do love leading and encouraging so I plan to do this again. Next year I will have no more than 4 events a week and I will try my best to have them all at free locations. This year I struggled with that and so I am always at coffee shops or Denny’s. And for me, who goes to everyone, the cost adds up. I know what you are asking, do they pay you to do this? The answer is no. I do this out of the kindness of my heart and out of my own pocket. I have tried to bring a little jar to encourage people to donate though I kind of stopped bringing it around as it is the same groups of people nearly every time. 

Even with the fact that I am totally broke because of this I still love. I still think that leading NaNo was the right thing to do. Everyday I am out in the community meeting people, encouraging people, being positive and upbeat to help them meet their daily word goals. I share the joy that I have with others. Plus of course I am writing a Christian chick-lit book and I do not keep that a secret. It has come up in many conversations casually how my girl is a christian. (There is a wedding in my book and I am trying to keep the book PG.) 

I think that next month I will feel lonely. After being so social next month will be hard. Especially because I have two weeks off from work (school closed) so I really will feel lonely. I should probably apologize in advance to my roommates because I will surely talk their ears off next month. Seeing that they both read my blog I will say it here; Sorry Teel and Mandy for me being annoying next month.

So November is really busy for me and that is why I have not posted. I have only found time to post now because my book requires me to use the internet and the Starbucks I am at the internet is not working very well. So it is causing me much aggravation and frustration. I would leave but I have two people writing with me so I here I sit. Trying to be encouraging, pretending I am writing my novel when I really am not. 

Did I mention how I am doing on my novel? Not yet. Well I am doing very well. As I mentioned the goal is 50K words. I am just under 70K right now but I am still working on the story. I figure the story should end around 85K words. With nine more days and one of those has an overnight write-in. I will definitely be able to give my story an ending before I am done. I currently do not have write-in’s on Thanksgiving or Black Friday but that is mostly because it will be so crazy outside. I figure maybe I will just stay home and be encouraging from there. 

There is not a lot going on my life otherwise. Ok that is not exactly true. I just don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just say after quitting my nanny job I have come across some struggles with getting more work. However I am trusting God to take care of me. It is weird because it is like He is keeping me on the edge of a cliff and He doesn’t let me fall off but He also blocks all my paths away from the edge. I was feeling a little wobbly on Saturday so I stopped and talked to God about it. He said I needed to just keep walking. So that is what I am doing. I don’t look down because that won’t help and don’t look at the safe path because that won’t help. Instead I just focus on what is ahead of me and trust that God will eventually lead my path to safer ground.

Yes, I know crazy analogy but it is totally what works for me. I mean didn’t Jesus always talk in analogies? I really think God gives me analogies to help me understand what He is doing in my life. 

But hey if you want to pray for me there is an opportunity to go to Belize in March and I think God may be telling me I should go. I don’t know how I will pay my bills next month so I have no idea how I will afford the $1500 to go to Belize in a few months. Though of course it is God that will afford it not me. And maybe I am understanding Him wrong and I won’t go. That will be fine too but…anyways. Hence why I am saying if you could pray about it for me as well that would be great.

I am trying to learn. Ok really God keeps pounding it into my head at church that I need to rely on my community, my friends, my family. I tend to just let it be me. I try to do it all myself but of course this is not very easy to do. So even putting that last paragraph is hard because it is asking for you to help me pray for something. I have to learn that the people around me care about me and love me and want good for me and so I need to let them help.

Like my shower. I had awful day last week, money issues. I had decided to buy a new shower head anyways. The one I had was old and I tried to CLR it twice and it was like it got worse each time. I was so frustrated every time I went to shower. So I come home from the store already frustrated and then just want to take a shower. I figure no big deal to change the shower head but it was giving me ridiculous problems. I mean it didn’t even make sense all the stupid things it was doing or not doing. My brother was in his living room I could have asked for help but I was being prideful. I wanted to do it on my own so I didn’t ask. The next day after work I was calm and rational and so I asked my brother for help. It took him like a minute to do what I failed to do in like 30 minutes. I was stubborn and for no good reason. 

Let’s see what else. I guess the only other thing came up last week. It was part of the stress of my money issues I think. I am still not handling my sister moving across the country very well. This last week two of my nephews had birthdays. It was the first time I didn’t celebrate their birthdays with them. I sent them gifts. It was hard trying to figure out what they would like and as I stood in the Walmart trying to decide I realized that each year it would get harder and harder because I would know them less and less. 

Saturday night when I was feeling lost about money and path I started looking for jobs in Davenport where my sister is. I mean if I don’t have anything holding me here then why not go. But of course I have free rent here and at least I have a part time job and there is no way I could afford to even pay for the gas to drive out there let alone pay for first month rent and deposit on an apartment. So it is not really practical. 

I am still horrible about calling my sister. And then she called me yesterday and I took the call while I was at a Write-In but then the coffee shop was closing so I had to let her go so I could say goodbye to the Wrimo’s that came to the write-in. I should have called her back when I got home and didn’t. Thanksgiving is this week and that is hard. Her family always came over for Thanksgiving. And then of course Christmas coming up. I seem to be living under the idea that if I don’t talk to her then it’s not true. Though of course that’s not really true either seeing that my background wallpaper on my computer is the picture of all of us when we went to Chicago. So ever time I shut down or turn on my computer, which is at least twice a day in November, I see their picture. 

Someone today was picking up their kid from after school. She said she was going to go visit her sister for spring break. She then mentioned that she hadn’t been out there since her son was one and a half, he is now six. The idea of that just pained me. But then I realize that she has done it just fine. People do it all the time. I need to just figure it out and stop pretending that it isn’t true.  

People at work keep asking if I am going to see my sister for Thanksgiving. It always makes me pause. I wish I could I always think but there is just no way. I am just trusting God I will be able to send them gifts for Christmas. 

Ok, so I have shared way to much now. In fact I totally want to delete the whole last section about my sister since she totally reads my blog. But as I have said before, it is how I feel and so there it is in black and white.