We all know that time is finite. We only have so many hours in the week, minutes in the day. There are things that require our time: sleep, eating, work, showering. But we must choose what to do with the remaining time. And if we misuse our time, spend it on just being lazy or something not important we will never get that time back. It is forever gone.
A month ago, probably the first three weeks of January, I felt like I had so much time. I had given up tv for 25 days which was a huge use of time. I was cooking more but had the time to spend preparing meals. I didn't even mind the hour I spent shopping because I now need to check every ingredient in an item before I buy it. I had the time and it was important and so I freely gave of my time.
Then I started school and it started using a little of my time at first and then more and more of my time. Then my 25 day tv fast was over and I started giving my time to tv again. I picked up babysitting jobs and this Monday I subbed in a class. My time was now all used up. I notice that I have not been giving my time to God like I was just a few weeks ago. Instead my time is filled with other things. Even now as I sit here typing this I should be at my Wednesday morning woman's bible study. Instead I spent extra time in bed being lazy, I spent time cooking a breakfast instead of eating on the go, I am spending time doing laundry, and I need to spend time doing a homework assignment.
As I have introduced tv back into my life I have spent more time up late at time watching tv instead of time sleeping. My mornings are no longer mornings and instead it is me waking up in a rush to get out the door because I was up so late the night before. This is not how I want to spend my time. Even now I think about the time I spend writing this and the time you spend reading this. Is it worth your time? I think it is worth mine as it is a type of personal therapy for me.
I don't know how some women I know do it. I know at least three women who work and have a busy family and yet they have time for school too. I think all three are taking more credits then I am. I only work part time and have no family to take care of when I get home and yet feel like I barely have enough time for my school. So I have a complete respect for those women. I have to remind myself that I am not them. I can only do my best not the best of someone else. But I still admire them.
I don't have an answer for my time management problem but I am working on it. I just need to try different things, try to figure out what works best for me. In the book I my group reads on Wednesday mornings the woman said something that really hit me. (I am paraphrasing as I do not have the book with me right now.) You can not just consider what you want to spend your time on but you have to decide what is not worth your time. What does not fit into what you want out of your life? And that is a very important question. It is like my tv, it is fun to watch the shows but it is not going to make me healthy (in fact I keep finding myself overeating when watching tv,) it is not going to help me get my associates degree. TV is not bad in itself and I am sure I can watch some but I have to figure out moderation so it does not disrupt my life. And yes I know that time management is something I will always have to figure out and right now is just one of those times.
***
On a different note I called the school yesterday about my financial aid dropping. They original amount was assuming that i was going full time. The guy look at the records and they dropped it to half time but I explained that I am taking nine credits so three quarters time. So my grant amount will go up a little, like $500 I think. So that is like one or two classes this summer that I can take. So that is good.
I still have not called the Superior Court yet. I need to do that I just haven't had time. Though I guess if I am skipping church this morning then I do have time.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Peace be with You
Here I am again nearly midnight and still awake. I keep finding myself doing this. Staying awake. Not really doing anything important just not going to bed. Last night I did babysit late but then still stayed up late after that. I was thinking about it this evening and I realize that it is due to avoidance. Tomorrow I have a couple calls I need to make. Difficult calls.
On Saturday there was a loud knock on the door. I was served papers. I am being sued. I had foreclosed on my house and with that there was an equity loan that I had also stopped paying on. They had threatened to sue me for it just like they threatened to sue for the foreclosure. But I don't have anything, I have nothing to give them. I thought it was all done. I have not heard from the bank since last August. And then there was a knock on the door handing me papers saying that it wasn't over.
There is no next step listed except that I have to appear before the Superior Court within 20 days. Even the Superior Court site is not helpful. So tomorrow I need call and try to figure out what I need to do to "appear" before the twenty days are up.
Just wait it gets better. I had e-mailed my teacher last Tuesday a question about an assignment. She still had not responded in the RioMail so I thought I would check my MCC e-mail account. When I did this I found a notice that there was a change to my financial aid. I went to the MCC site to see what was going on. I had figured they had simply finally made the payment to pay the classes. But when I looked they still showed due. The site is not clear when changes are made you just have to poke around and try to figure out what was different from the last time you were on. Finally I figured it out, they lowered my grant amount from $2400 to $1400. It now barely covers the tuition and books for the three classes I am taking this semester. I was planning on saving the extra $1000 so I could attend summer school as well. What's most frustrating is it doesn't say why it was lowered. I am hoping that it was a mistake. I am currently only in one class as I staggered the three classes. So I am hoping they were just looking to fast and thought I was only taking three credits instead of nine and can bump it back up again. Part of me thinks maybe it was so that I won't have a $1000 in savings when I deal with the lawsuit. I don't know.
I had seen the change in financial aid right before I was leaving the house to go babysit last night. I was driving and just talking out loud to God. I was frustrated and telling God how I just didn't understand but it did not take long for me to stop and just say "I trust you. I don't understand. And both of these things totally suck! But I trust you and know that your plan is better than my plan." And that was enough. I placed both in God's hands. This is not to say I did not worry about them or think about them. Last night I was trying to sleep and running through my head what kind of paper work I will need to take to court showing the bills that I have and evidence of how much I make.
At church today I sat listening to the Pastor. Half distracted but trying to concentrate. He was talking about being stuck in the mud. That there are different reasons why we get stuck in the mud but we all do from time to time. He also talked about peace. How when we are stuck in the mud we just want to press on the gas and try to get unstuck but we need to have peace. When Jesus returned he said "Peace be with you." This was the same verse that stuck in my head from Wednesday. Again God was telling me to just be at peace.
As the sermon came to a close and we were doing communion I bowed my head and listened to the pastor's words and tears just filled my eyes. On Saturday I recieved two hard blows and I had given them to God but they are still painful. They hurt. ...It sucks that I lost my house. It sucks that I can't just pay them back. I didn't mean to take their money and not pay them back. ...It sucks that I may not be able to go to school over the summer. And sucks that I was hoping to use some of that money to fly out to see my sister and I may not have it now. It hurts. But God's timing is not my timing. And I have learned over and over again that His timing is amazing and it is perfect if I just listen and follow. Right now He says to just be at peace and so I will listen. I will try my best because that is all I can give.
On Saturday there was a loud knock on the door. I was served papers. I am being sued. I had foreclosed on my house and with that there was an equity loan that I had also stopped paying on. They had threatened to sue me for it just like they threatened to sue for the foreclosure. But I don't have anything, I have nothing to give them. I thought it was all done. I have not heard from the bank since last August. And then there was a knock on the door handing me papers saying that it wasn't over.
There is no next step listed except that I have to appear before the Superior Court within 20 days. Even the Superior Court site is not helpful. So tomorrow I need call and try to figure out what I need to do to "appear" before the twenty days are up.
Just wait it gets better. I had e-mailed my teacher last Tuesday a question about an assignment. She still had not responded in the RioMail so I thought I would check my MCC e-mail account. When I did this I found a notice that there was a change to my financial aid. I went to the MCC site to see what was going on. I had figured they had simply finally made the payment to pay the classes. But when I looked they still showed due. The site is not clear when changes are made you just have to poke around and try to figure out what was different from the last time you were on. Finally I figured it out, they lowered my grant amount from $2400 to $1400. It now barely covers the tuition and books for the three classes I am taking this semester. I was planning on saving the extra $1000 so I could attend summer school as well. What's most frustrating is it doesn't say why it was lowered. I am hoping that it was a mistake. I am currently only in one class as I staggered the three classes. So I am hoping they were just looking to fast and thought I was only taking three credits instead of nine and can bump it back up again. Part of me thinks maybe it was so that I won't have a $1000 in savings when I deal with the lawsuit. I don't know.
I had seen the change in financial aid right before I was leaving the house to go babysit last night. I was driving and just talking out loud to God. I was frustrated and telling God how I just didn't understand but it did not take long for me to stop and just say "I trust you. I don't understand. And both of these things totally suck! But I trust you and know that your plan is better than my plan." And that was enough. I placed both in God's hands. This is not to say I did not worry about them or think about them. Last night I was trying to sleep and running through my head what kind of paper work I will need to take to court showing the bills that I have and evidence of how much I make.
At church today I sat listening to the Pastor. Half distracted but trying to concentrate. He was talking about being stuck in the mud. That there are different reasons why we get stuck in the mud but we all do from time to time. He also talked about peace. How when we are stuck in the mud we just want to press on the gas and try to get unstuck but we need to have peace. When Jesus returned he said "Peace be with you." This was the same verse that stuck in my head from Wednesday. Again God was telling me to just be at peace.
As the sermon came to a close and we were doing communion I bowed my head and listened to the pastor's words and tears just filled my eyes. On Saturday I recieved two hard blows and I had given them to God but they are still painful. They hurt. ...It sucks that I lost my house. It sucks that I can't just pay them back. I didn't mean to take their money and not pay them back. ...It sucks that I may not be able to go to school over the summer. And sucks that I was hoping to use some of that money to fly out to see my sister and I may not have it now. It hurts. But God's timing is not my timing. And I have learned over and over again that His timing is amazing and it is perfect if I just listen and follow. Right now He says to just be at peace and so I will listen. I will try my best because that is all I can give.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Confidence
Today I ate meat. My church, a few times a year, have neighborhood dinners. I signed up to go to one a few weeks ago. Over the last two weeks I kept contemplating calling and saying that I was vegan now what were they serving, could it be modified or can I bring my own. But I didn't. Instead I told myself that one meal was ok. I am doing it to be healthy and so a little bit of meat or cheese would not harm me. That of course is true but it was a little weird.
In my head I had thought, no big deal, I would eat whatever they gave me. I would just decline adding any extra meat or animal secretions to my meal. But sitting at the table was a little different. They did a pasta dish but it wasn't covered in a heavy sauce but more like an oil. I should have asked. They did mix in pieces of chicken and cover with cheese. They also had additional cheese in a bowl you could add on your own. I was the first to serve myself and I tried to avoid big spoonfuls of pasta with the cheese. The chicken was mixed in well but as I ate the noodles I found myself being careful not to eat any of the meat. At the end I ended up with a little pile chicken pieces on my plate. So I am sure that I ate some cheese and some pieces of meat that I may have missed but not much. I did put a little butter on my bread and because I was in a hurry I stopped at Fry's to get the french bread, they always have it in the front, instead of at the Whole Foods across the street. So the bread had gluten in it. Although I was given the rest of the uneaten bread to bring home I gave it to my brother and his wife. For the salad they had a vinaigrette, I of course did not check the label at the dinner table, but only used a little either way. They had cute little mini bunt cakes in like five flavors. I did skip that even though they kept offering.
After the experience I think the only regret I have was not calling right away to explain my dietary restrictions. I don't think it would have really been a problem. The problem was on my side worrying about giving her more work or making dinner more difficult when she was already being nice by hosting in the first place.
Tomorrow night I have a Bunco BBQ at my church. We are switching the childrens ministry pastor so this is a way to say goodbye to Nissa and hello to Joel. My first reaction when I saw the invite was, it's a bbq what are you going to eat? So I am going to go prepared. I think I will stash some mixed nuts in my purse. The calories on those add up quick. Then always has a salad and usually fruit so I should be good. The important part is planning ahead and not being afraid to eat different.
Oh and I do want to mention after yesterday's, eat whatever I want day, I did go back to normal. I was kind of hungry a little bit through out the day but I knew that would happen. It wanted the number of calories from the day before. I told my body no and went on with my day eating like normal. I am not sure exactly how many calories my dinner was but I did not stuff myself by any means so I think I should end my day in range.
Tomorrow is going to be a long day so i will start my day with french toast. Then I should have a couple of hours to finish typing the other half of my essay before heading to work. Today I did not work on it as much as I should have. I had a couple errands between eight and nine and then kind of dragged my feet till ten. So I only did about forty-five minutes on the essay before work and then I did use about an hour to an hour and a half during my break at work to do a bit more. I am about halfway done. I am still not sure it is exactly what the teacher wants but all I can do is my best.
In my head I had thought, no big deal, I would eat whatever they gave me. I would just decline adding any extra meat or animal secretions to my meal. But sitting at the table was a little different. They did a pasta dish but it wasn't covered in a heavy sauce but more like an oil. I should have asked. They did mix in pieces of chicken and cover with cheese. They also had additional cheese in a bowl you could add on your own. I was the first to serve myself and I tried to avoid big spoonfuls of pasta with the cheese. The chicken was mixed in well but as I ate the noodles I found myself being careful not to eat any of the meat. At the end I ended up with a little pile chicken pieces on my plate. So I am sure that I ate some cheese and some pieces of meat that I may have missed but not much. I did put a little butter on my bread and because I was in a hurry I stopped at Fry's to get the french bread, they always have it in the front, instead of at the Whole Foods across the street. So the bread had gluten in it. Although I was given the rest of the uneaten bread to bring home I gave it to my brother and his wife. For the salad they had a vinaigrette, I of course did not check the label at the dinner table, but only used a little either way. They had cute little mini bunt cakes in like five flavors. I did skip that even though they kept offering.
After the experience I think the only regret I have was not calling right away to explain my dietary restrictions. I don't think it would have really been a problem. The problem was on my side worrying about giving her more work or making dinner more difficult when she was already being nice by hosting in the first place.
Tomorrow night I have a Bunco BBQ at my church. We are switching the childrens ministry pastor so this is a way to say goodbye to Nissa and hello to Joel. My first reaction when I saw the invite was, it's a bbq what are you going to eat? So I am going to go prepared. I think I will stash some mixed nuts in my purse. The calories on those add up quick. Then always has a salad and usually fruit so I should be good. The important part is planning ahead and not being afraid to eat different.
Oh and I do want to mention after yesterday's, eat whatever I want day, I did go back to normal. I was kind of hungry a little bit through out the day but I knew that would happen. It wanted the number of calories from the day before. I told my body no and went on with my day eating like normal. I am not sure exactly how many calories my dinner was but I did not stuff myself by any means so I think I should end my day in range.
Tomorrow is going to be a long day so i will start my day with french toast. Then I should have a couple of hours to finish typing the other half of my essay before heading to work. Today I did not work on it as much as I should have. I had a couple errands between eight and nine and then kind of dragged my feet till ten. So I only did about forty-five minutes on the essay before work and then I did use about an hour to an hour and a half during my break at work to do a bit more. I am about halfway done. I am still not sure it is exactly what the teacher wants but all I can do is my best.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
A Day Off
Today was my day off. I did no homework today. I have also been eating all day today. Though every meal was vegan, well mostly. I knew my day was going to be busy after my frustrating last night I just needed some time. I nearly didn't make it out of bed but somehow convinced myself. I got dressed and made it out the door to go to my woman's bible study. On the way I stopped at QT and got three donuts. Yes you heard me three. No caffeine though, I had filled my cup with pink lemonade before I left the house. This was my one meal that was not completely vegan. I am sure there is milk and possibly eggs in the donuts. They actually gave me a sugar high that was not enjoyable. I did not feel well and when I was sitting in church praying with my head down I started getting dizzy. It was a reminder of why I didn't need that much sugar.
Once a month during my group we spend time focusing on a series of verses and then just sit there in silence listening to the Holy Spirit. It is pretty cool and if you have never just sat in silence listening for the Holy Spirit I recommend you try it. Find a passage, read it a couple times and then open yourself up to God. Today we read John 20:19-29 and the word God just stuck out to me was "Peace." Jesus repeats "Peace be with you" three times during this set of verses. And I thought that is exactly what I need. For the last 25 days I have been in a peace with God. There have been struggles along the way, no doubt, but have been leaning on God and had peace with that. Until I saw a grade I did not like and I threw it all out the window. I became frustrated and angry when I should have instead fallen to my knees and prayed for peace with my teacher. I know that going forward as I plug my tv back in I need to remember that God is my peace. That I don't have peace from binge eating or from zoning out watching some fake life on the screen.
So bible study was great. Then we met in our small groups which I just love mine. All the girls in it are so nice and lovely. It is wonderful. I went to work a little to giddy. Everyone kept wanting to know what was up with me. "Just happy." I would reply. On my break at work I decided to head out. I was still craving a burger and fries, as I have been for days now. So I thought lets fix this. I remembered that Islands has a veggie burger as well as fries cooked in vegetable oil; the perfect fit. So I went. I ordered a standard Maui burger but had a veggie patty substituted and of course no cheese. Of the many meals I have tried this month I was not very scared to try this one. For my first veggie burger it was great! It really satisfied my need for a burger and the fries of course were wonderful. I have no idea how many calories were in it but I didn't really care today. After lunch I headed back to work to finish up the day.
Today is the 25th and if you remember I had given up tv for 25 days. The fast, pray, worship Living Streams has been doing was coming to an end so they had a concert. Let me tell you it was definitely a concert of praise and worship to the Lord. I could not believe how many people showed up, the place was packed. I think even all the pastor's were surprised by the number of people. And for an hour we just sang to the Lord. It was amazing young and old and everyone in between just praising God. You could definitely feel the Holy Spirit in the church. At the end, just like a concert, we did not want it to end. The music pastor, exhausted from an hour of singing, pulled out a little more strength and lead us in one last song. Afterwards you couldn't help but feel closer to everyone in the room.
Before the concert I wanted to grab something to eat. I had seen a little market at 16th st and Bethany Home Rd so headed there to see what I could find. I grabbed a bag of tortilla chips made only from beans, they had no corn in them. They were very good, though a little peppery. I ended up eating about half the bag on the way to church. Then when I got home I pulled out my hummus from the fridge and finished off the rest of the bag.
I did make one stop on the way home that...I may regret later. I wanted some ice cream, soy of course. The fresh and easy on the corner of Greenway and 32nd st, my closest one, is closing. I had stopped there the other day and everything was 25% off. I thought great I will go get some ice cream for 25% off that is a good deal. When I arrived the sale was now 50% off. I have now seen exactly what stores will look like after the apocalypse. Most of the store was empty there were shelves that just had empty boxes lying there. Some shelves had just one or two things and nothing seemed to be in any order. Things had been picked up here and dropped there. I think it was a combination of my good mood from just praising God and then seeing others with carts full of food. I tried to just get my ice cream but I just kept thinking, I could save money! And so I succumbed to the sale.
There is a container company called Sistema. They are actually based in New Zealand but their product is so great it is all over the world. It is pretty expensive per piece. Well Fresh and Easy, being a company from England started selling them. Every time I walk past them I want them but they are pricey. But now they were half off! Plus I already had $20 ear marked for storage containers because I am using a lot more now that I am cooking more and eating more fruits and vegetables. I just couldn't walk past so I bought a whole bunch of them. Even at half off more that $20 worth probably closer to $50 worth. But I remind myself that they will last much longer then some of the zip lock brand containers I have bought in the past. It is an investment, right? I did stock up on some fancy Japanese noodles that I wanted but thought too expensive at full price. Plus some rice, maple syrup, and ghiradelli semi-sweet chips that are vegan. The busiest aisle was the one with the wine but I don't drink so I didn't even go down it. The scary part is that they don't take the half off until after you hit check-out so the total just keeps getting higher and higher. The woman checking out next to me was over $350 when I last glanced at it. Oh and I did get the last half pint tub of soy ice cream they had.
So that was my day. I don't where to start with my calories and I need to remove stickers from and wash all of the Sistema I just bought. But first I think I will take a shower and head to bed. I will worry about that tomorrow. :)
Once a month during my group we spend time focusing on a series of verses and then just sit there in silence listening to the Holy Spirit. It is pretty cool and if you have never just sat in silence listening for the Holy Spirit I recommend you try it. Find a passage, read it a couple times and then open yourself up to God. Today we read John 20:19-29 and the word God just stuck out to me was "Peace." Jesus repeats "Peace be with you" three times during this set of verses. And I thought that is exactly what I need. For the last 25 days I have been in a peace with God. There have been struggles along the way, no doubt, but have been leaning on God and had peace with that. Until I saw a grade I did not like and I threw it all out the window. I became frustrated and angry when I should have instead fallen to my knees and prayed for peace with my teacher. I know that going forward as I plug my tv back in I need to remember that God is my peace. That I don't have peace from binge eating or from zoning out watching some fake life on the screen.
So bible study was great. Then we met in our small groups which I just love mine. All the girls in it are so nice and lovely. It is wonderful. I went to work a little to giddy. Everyone kept wanting to know what was up with me. "Just happy." I would reply. On my break at work I decided to head out. I was still craving a burger and fries, as I have been for days now. So I thought lets fix this. I remembered that Islands has a veggie burger as well as fries cooked in vegetable oil; the perfect fit. So I went. I ordered a standard Maui burger but had a veggie patty substituted and of course no cheese. Of the many meals I have tried this month I was not very scared to try this one. For my first veggie burger it was great! It really satisfied my need for a burger and the fries of course were wonderful. I have no idea how many calories were in it but I didn't really care today. After lunch I headed back to work to finish up the day.
Today is the 25th and if you remember I had given up tv for 25 days. The fast, pray, worship Living Streams has been doing was coming to an end so they had a concert. Let me tell you it was definitely a concert of praise and worship to the Lord. I could not believe how many people showed up, the place was packed. I think even all the pastor's were surprised by the number of people. And for an hour we just sang to the Lord. It was amazing young and old and everyone in between just praising God. You could definitely feel the Holy Spirit in the church. At the end, just like a concert, we did not want it to end. The music pastor, exhausted from an hour of singing, pulled out a little more strength and lead us in one last song. Afterwards you couldn't help but feel closer to everyone in the room.
Before the concert I wanted to grab something to eat. I had seen a little market at 16th st and Bethany Home Rd so headed there to see what I could find. I grabbed a bag of tortilla chips made only from beans, they had no corn in them. They were very good, though a little peppery. I ended up eating about half the bag on the way to church. Then when I got home I pulled out my hummus from the fridge and finished off the rest of the bag.
I did make one stop on the way home that...I may regret later. I wanted some ice cream, soy of course. The fresh and easy on the corner of Greenway and 32nd st, my closest one, is closing. I had stopped there the other day and everything was 25% off. I thought great I will go get some ice cream for 25% off that is a good deal. When I arrived the sale was now 50% off. I have now seen exactly what stores will look like after the apocalypse. Most of the store was empty there were shelves that just had empty boxes lying there. Some shelves had just one or two things and nothing seemed to be in any order. Things had been picked up here and dropped there. I think it was a combination of my good mood from just praising God and then seeing others with carts full of food. I tried to just get my ice cream but I just kept thinking, I could save money! And so I succumbed to the sale.
There is a container company called Sistema. They are actually based in New Zealand but their product is so great it is all over the world. It is pretty expensive per piece. Well Fresh and Easy, being a company from England started selling them. Every time I walk past them I want them but they are pricey. But now they were half off! Plus I already had $20 ear marked for storage containers because I am using a lot more now that I am cooking more and eating more fruits and vegetables. I just couldn't walk past so I bought a whole bunch of them. Even at half off more that $20 worth probably closer to $50 worth. But I remind myself that they will last much longer then some of the zip lock brand containers I have bought in the past. It is an investment, right? I did stock up on some fancy Japanese noodles that I wanted but thought too expensive at full price. Plus some rice, maple syrup, and ghiradelli semi-sweet chips that are vegan. The busiest aisle was the one with the wine but I don't drink so I didn't even go down it. The scary part is that they don't take the half off until after you hit check-out so the total just keeps getting higher and higher. The woman checking out next to me was over $350 when I last glanced at it. Oh and I did get the last half pint tub of soy ice cream they had.
So that was my day. I don't where to start with my calories and I need to remove stickers from and wash all of the Sistema I just bought. But first I think I will take a shower and head to bed. I will worry about that tomorrow. :)
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
I Want to Quit!
It has been a long week and it is only tuesday! I keep wanting a burger or fries or ice cream. Things I should eat. I got home today and had decided to eat something simple; I mix refried beans with chili, heat it a bit and then grab some tortilla's to dip. But even that seemed like so much work. I am constantly cooking and making every single which I know as I write it sounds stupid but...I am used to simple. Pop it in the microwave. Stop by the drive through. But everything has to be measured. And I am constantly cutting up fruit and vegetables. And there is so much to clean. I feel like I am constantly doing dishes. I remind myself that last week these things were not a big deal. Next week they probably won't be as long as I keep going. I feel healthier, I am loosing weight, I am sleeping better. Change takes time and right now I need some patients.
Tonight was the the Presidential Speech. I really wanted to watch it. I have been watching it for years now. Listening to first Bush and Obama as they talk about last year and the year to come. I listen to the responses from each party to see what they are saying. I support Obama and this year hearing his words are important. People will be using what he said for or against him in the election. But I am fasting from tv. I have not watched tv for twenty-four days. I can not break my fast now. I know that on Thursday or this weekend I will be able to watch it online. It was the first time I considered actually plugging my tv back in so that I could watch it. But I did not. Instead I got my CNN updates on my phone and caught a few blurbs online, no video's though. Those would have to wait.
School. Tonight I became so furious and frustrated by my teacher. As I mentioned I am ahead on my assignments. I have turned in three assignments so far. The first I got fifty out of fifty with no comments. That was posted last week. Today I logged online to see my other two assignments were graded. The first I got 45 out of 50 because I had two fragmented sentences. Then the second assignment I got 32 out of 50! That is a D! The reason she gave was she did not like the reason I said the ad was inductive and because I misspelled four words. Which only happened because we had to do the assignment on a weird web site that did not spell check and was difficult to use. The info I typed in went by so fast I could barely read it to make sure it made sense let alone double check my spelling. But still a D for this?! This is why I have dropped out of college four times before. Stupid teachers that feel like God when they are grading things. I mean what is the point of spending my time working hard when you are just going to give me a ridiculous grade anyways? I barely even understand the next assignment, the essay I am working on. So how am I going to pass it? What is the point of taking hours and hours to write something that she could say sucks and fail me for? I HATE school!!! This is why I don't go back. Because failing a class for the third time just sucks!
So after I saw my grade I totally overate. It was all vegan but still over my calories for the day. Now I am going to try and figure out the outline for my essay and try to sleep a little before tomorrow.
Tonight was the the Presidential Speech. I really wanted to watch it. I have been watching it for years now. Listening to first Bush and Obama as they talk about last year and the year to come. I listen to the responses from each party to see what they are saying. I support Obama and this year hearing his words are important. People will be using what he said for or against him in the election. But I am fasting from tv. I have not watched tv for twenty-four days. I can not break my fast now. I know that on Thursday or this weekend I will be able to watch it online. It was the first time I considered actually plugging my tv back in so that I could watch it. But I did not. Instead I got my CNN updates on my phone and caught a few blurbs online, no video's though. Those would have to wait.
School. Tonight I became so furious and frustrated by my teacher. As I mentioned I am ahead on my assignments. I have turned in three assignments so far. The first I got fifty out of fifty with no comments. That was posted last week. Today I logged online to see my other two assignments were graded. The first I got 45 out of 50 because I had two fragmented sentences. Then the second assignment I got 32 out of 50! That is a D! The reason she gave was she did not like the reason I said the ad was inductive and because I misspelled four words. Which only happened because we had to do the assignment on a weird web site that did not spell check and was difficult to use. The info I typed in went by so fast I could barely read it to make sure it made sense let alone double check my spelling. But still a D for this?! This is why I have dropped out of college four times before. Stupid teachers that feel like God when they are grading things. I mean what is the point of spending my time working hard when you are just going to give me a ridiculous grade anyways? I barely even understand the next assignment, the essay I am working on. So how am I going to pass it? What is the point of taking hours and hours to write something that she could say sucks and fail me for? I HATE school!!! This is why I don't go back. Because failing a class for the third time just sucks!
So after I saw my grade I totally overate. It was all vegan but still over my calories for the day. Now I am going to try and figure out the outline for my essay and try to sleep a little before tomorrow.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Odd Jobs
On the side of my house we have this little fence. It is six tall and maybe six feet wide. The wooden fence has been there a long time and is falling down. A few months ago, on my dad's recommendation, I went and got some rope to tie it to the posts so it will stay up. This worked for maybe a month and then proceeded to fall over again. Not as far this time but still falling over. Everyday I would drive home and see this mess of a fence and want to fix it. Shouldn't it be an easy fix? Well easy is relative. The actual problem was the 4X4 post was not secured in the ground. No one really asked me but I think termites ate the post causing the post to fall down. I know this as part of the post is still cemented into the ground. So I went to home depot and bought a 4x4x8 foot post. Got the post hole digger out of the storage shed and started making a hole.
For an eight foot post you need a two foot hole. You take the post hole digger in both hands, it is several pounds, and then thrust it toward the ground being careful to let go before impact. You then separate the two handles which pushes the two half circle parts together to grab the dirt to take out. You continue to do this over and over again until all of the whole is deep enough. I added a step in attempt to make it a little easier which involved hammering a steel stake into the ground, removing (the hard part), and then adding water to soak into the dirt. Hence why my whole is so wet. Once the hole was dug it was pretty easy, stick the post in, pack the dirt in around it, and then hammer the fence into both of the posts.
It took me about three hours but it wasn't so bad since it was overcast today here in Phoenix. The rest of the wood is pretty old and will have to be replaced too. But for now hopefully it will stay standing and looking like a normal fence. Sorry for no before picture but just picture the fence leaning forward on the top about a foot with white rope tied in, out, and around each of the slates and the posts. Not very pretty.
***
Besides fixing the fence I did plenty of stuff this weekend. I did go to bed early Friday like I had planned. Then Saturday I woke up early and completed another assignment for school. I had a babysitting job for 4 hours. I went shopping on the way home and then had to run out again to go to another babysitting job. The Lord sure is blessing me with these last minute babysitting jobs. He really does provide for all our needs!
My next assignment for school is a rhetorical analytical essay. Which means I have to analyze some type of article. It was causing me great frustration this evening. Not only do I have to analyze an article but the I have to find an article that was already analyzed by someone else so that I can use it as evidence in my article. I was hoping to have it on the topic of early education, as I hope to write my research paper on this, however I could not find any articles that were already analyzed. So after much frustration I finally found a couple papers about charter schools. So I am still in the education field but not as narrow as I wanted. I printed the articles out and the parameters I need to work with. That way I don't have to be in front of the computer to do the first part of the essay. The analyzing and outlining and figuring out what I will want to quote or cite in my paper. This is to be a four to five page paper so I think it will take me a little while. Though if I was on track I would only have one week to do it so it shouldn't be too hard.
Between church, the fence and the essay that is all I have done today. I did weigh in this morning and lost another 2 lbs! That takes me down to 266. Though today I ate too much. I think. I haven't logged everything. Maybe with the outdoor exercise I will at least be close. But for now I am headed to bed. I need some sleep before a new week starts.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Lazy Friday
This week was really busy, good busy, but very busy.
Tuesday: Although I was registered for my eng 102 class I could not get online. I called and they said it was due to the long weekend and I had to wait. At work I had to train someone new to take over at the middle school. This is good but I always worry I will forget something when i train them. Since after I train them they are on their own it is kind of important I get it right. After work I was able to log online and I looked through some of the course work and made a plan for the week of when I would have time to study. Then it was time for bed.
Wednesday: I woke up at 7:30, exercised and then went to my wed morning woman's church group. We are now reading this book called Bittersweet together. It is really good. I was a little late but made it so I was happy about that. Then I left a little early from it, as I always do, so I could get to work. Work was good. I did read some of my text book for eng during my break but also helped my boss get a project done so I did not read as much as I would have liked. It was nice being back at the lower school campus, I had really missed being there. Though I am more strict then the other teachers so I don't know how much the kids like me being back because I make them actually follow the rules. I got back to the lower school just in time because my new co-worker Sara got sick. We sent her home early on Wed and then she wasn't there yesterday and won't be here today. After work I went straight to my writing group. It is a bunch of girls from Nano and now we get together and help each other edit our books. I didn't get home until 10:30 and went right to bed.
Thursday: I was determined to get some school work done. I woke up at seven, got dressed and ate and was doing homework by eight. I kept doing work for three hours till it was time to go to work. Work was good again. Lots of kids are sick and there was a case of lice reported, yuck! I did write most of a two paragraph paper I needed to do. The teacher is using it to judge where we are at at the beginning of the semester so i wanted to make it good. Plus I was a little distracted because we were finishing the last of the project at work. That morning I had gotten a call for a babysitting job that night. I actually left work early and went to babysit a kid. She is great and I love watching here. She was in bed by 7:30 and parents did not get home till eleven so that gave me three and a half more hours of doing school work. When her parents arrived I had about ten more minutes of work to complete an assignment so when I got home I finished that up. I am now finished with both week one and week two's assignments. Week three has an actual essay to write, where as the others were mostly reading, so I assume it will take longer. I am going to just keep plugging away at the work till the class is done.
After Wednesday and Thursday being so busy I decided to give myself a break. This morning I slept in a little, caught up on my blogs, and did some research on how to do some stuff around the house that I want to do. Specifically I need to use a post hole digger and caulk a window. Both seem easy and self explanatory but I thought check the internet in case they have any tips.
Saturday I have a four hour babysitting job in the middle of the day and church at night but I plan on doing homework around those times. Tomorrow is my brother's birthday and so my dad is coming in to town. He is also bringing down a shed to put up in the back yard so my plans may change a little depending on when he needs help. I am planning on doing my home repair projects on Sunday after church. I figure that is a good time to get outside and work. But now I am running late for work so till next time. Ta Ta For Now!
Tuesday: Although I was registered for my eng 102 class I could not get online. I called and they said it was due to the long weekend and I had to wait. At work I had to train someone new to take over at the middle school. This is good but I always worry I will forget something when i train them. Since after I train them they are on their own it is kind of important I get it right. After work I was able to log online and I looked through some of the course work and made a plan for the week of when I would have time to study. Then it was time for bed.
Wednesday: I woke up at 7:30, exercised and then went to my wed morning woman's church group. We are now reading this book called Bittersweet together. It is really good. I was a little late but made it so I was happy about that. Then I left a little early from it, as I always do, so I could get to work. Work was good. I did read some of my text book for eng during my break but also helped my boss get a project done so I did not read as much as I would have liked. It was nice being back at the lower school campus, I had really missed being there. Though I am more strict then the other teachers so I don't know how much the kids like me being back because I make them actually follow the rules. I got back to the lower school just in time because my new co-worker Sara got sick. We sent her home early on Wed and then she wasn't there yesterday and won't be here today. After work I went straight to my writing group. It is a bunch of girls from Nano and now we get together and help each other edit our books. I didn't get home until 10:30 and went right to bed.
Thursday: I was determined to get some school work done. I woke up at seven, got dressed and ate and was doing homework by eight. I kept doing work for three hours till it was time to go to work. Work was good again. Lots of kids are sick and there was a case of lice reported, yuck! I did write most of a two paragraph paper I needed to do. The teacher is using it to judge where we are at at the beginning of the semester so i wanted to make it good. Plus I was a little distracted because we were finishing the last of the project at work. That morning I had gotten a call for a babysitting job that night. I actually left work early and went to babysit a kid. She is great and I love watching here. She was in bed by 7:30 and parents did not get home till eleven so that gave me three and a half more hours of doing school work. When her parents arrived I had about ten more minutes of work to complete an assignment so when I got home I finished that up. I am now finished with both week one and week two's assignments. Week three has an actual essay to write, where as the others were mostly reading, so I assume it will take longer. I am going to just keep plugging away at the work till the class is done.
After Wednesday and Thursday being so busy I decided to give myself a break. This morning I slept in a little, caught up on my blogs, and did some research on how to do some stuff around the house that I want to do. Specifically I need to use a post hole digger and caulk a window. Both seem easy and self explanatory but I thought check the internet in case they have any tips.
Saturday I have a four hour babysitting job in the middle of the day and church at night but I plan on doing homework around those times. Tomorrow is my brother's birthday and so my dad is coming in to town. He is also bringing down a shed to put up in the back yard so my plans may change a little depending on when he needs help. I am planning on doing my home repair projects on Sunday after church. I figure that is a good time to get outside and work. But now I am running late for work so till next time. Ta Ta For Now!
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