It has been a long week and it is only tuesday! I keep wanting a burger or fries or ice cream. Things I should eat. I got home today and had decided to eat something simple; I mix refried beans with chili, heat it a bit and then grab some tortilla's to dip. But even that seemed like so much work. I am constantly cooking and making every single which I know as I write it sounds stupid but...I am used to simple. Pop it in the microwave. Stop by the drive through. But everything has to be measured. And I am constantly cutting up fruit and vegetables. And there is so much to clean. I feel like I am constantly doing dishes. I remind myself that last week these things were not a big deal. Next week they probably won't be as long as I keep going. I feel healthier, I am loosing weight, I am sleeping better. Change takes time and right now I need some patients.
Tonight was the the Presidential Speech. I really wanted to watch it. I have been watching it for years now. Listening to first Bush and Obama as they talk about last year and the year to come. I listen to the responses from each party to see what they are saying. I support Obama and this year hearing his words are important. People will be using what he said for or against him in the election. But I am fasting from tv. I have not watched tv for twenty-four days. I can not break my fast now. I know that on Thursday or this weekend I will be able to watch it online. It was the first time I considered actually plugging my tv back in so that I could watch it. But I did not. Instead I got my CNN updates on my phone and caught a few blurbs online, no video's though. Those would have to wait.
School. Tonight I became so furious and frustrated by my teacher. As I mentioned I am ahead on my assignments. I have turned in three assignments so far. The first I got fifty out of fifty with no comments. That was posted last week. Today I logged online to see my other two assignments were graded. The first I got 45 out of 50 because I had two fragmented sentences. Then the second assignment I got 32 out of 50! That is a D! The reason she gave was she did not like the reason I said the ad was inductive and because I misspelled four words. Which only happened because we had to do the assignment on a weird web site that did not spell check and was difficult to use. The info I typed in went by so fast I could barely read it to make sure it made sense let alone double check my spelling. But still a D for this?! This is why I have dropped out of college four times before. Stupid teachers that feel like God when they are grading things. I mean what is the point of spending my time working hard when you are just going to give me a ridiculous grade anyways? I barely even understand the next assignment, the essay I am working on. So how am I going to pass it? What is the point of taking hours and hours to write something that she could say sucks and fail me for? I HATE school!!! This is why I don't go back. Because failing a class for the third time just sucks!
So after I saw my grade I totally overate. It was all vegan but still over my calories for the day. Now I am going to try and figure out the outline for my essay and try to sleep a little before tomorrow.