About Me

Hi, my name is Angela and welcome to my blog. This is a place where I write about my life in an honest and open way.

I am 36 years old, single, and a Christian. God gave me a heart to work with children and so I spend my day teaching kindergarten. It is my fourth year teaching and although it is hard I love it. I currently go to a college for my BA in Elementary Education which keeps me busy. Between work and school there is not much time left but I enjoy serving and helping others, watching netflix, or reading a good book.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


So I had Tue off. I spent hours working on homework so I wouldn't have it to do on thur night so I can have plenty of sleep before school on Fri. Well last night I was watching tv and paying Sims, and in case you haven't played it is very addicting and you totally loose track of time. I think I actually got off the computer around 2:30am and then I still had to get ready for bed. Lets just say about 4 hours of sleep, probably a little less. I am not too tired today though, waking up was hard but now that I am off and going everything is good. 

School was good. Actually I think it was a little more fun than normal everyone just joking around and stuff. I think my english teacher is a little crazy with the amount of work he is assigning. Today, halfway through week 5, he finally gave us a syllabus. He has daily assignments, plus every 2 weeks a 5 research paper is due, and then all the while we are to be working on our final assignment. I don't know when I am going to find all the time that is going to be needed for this. But I will do what is needed, have to pass the class. My biblical interpretation class is better. We are going to have a paper due for the class but teacher is pretty cool about making sure he doesn't pile on too much work. Everything appears to be reasonably spaced out. Plenty of assignments but not nothing like english. Ok, enough whining. 

After class I headed over to CCV, Christ's Church of the Valley. They are having an exhibit that includes the Dead Sea Scrolls and then a history of the bible. My bib interp teacher had gone to see it a couple times and said we could get extra credit if we went. I have write a couple paragraphs about it and bring a pamphlet but I figured easy points. Plus I think that is totally cool that my extra credit is going to a church and looking at bibles and it doesn't cost anything to get in.

So when you go they actually give you a book, like the size of a magazine, that you can read while you go through. The information you actually need is actually printed on the walls next to the exhibits. So the wall has a paragraph and if you open up the book the first paragraph is the same and then another 2 or 3 paragraphs of further details. I have to be honest I don't really like history. And sometimes while I was walking through I would get to the end of a paragraph and have no idea what I had just read. But I did learn a lot of information. They have bibles throughout history showing first translations and how we went from sea scrolls to the King James version. In fact they actually have the copy of the bible that went to the moon so that was cool. Now here is the embarrassing part. I am going through I am taking my time, I think I was there an hour and a half, others though were only there for about a half hour. At one point they were talking about the switch from the Genevan bible to the King James bible. They were discussing him and how he commissioned a bible to be made. And it wasn't until it actually said, "he is most known for having a bible named after him." First reaction was 'what,' I had to like stop and look at the words 'King James Bible' and then look at his name 'King James' and next verbally out of my mouth was an 'Ohhhhh' I felt stupid saying it aloud because besides the classical music the room is pretty silent. I felt like an idiot. I have never stopped to think about the fact that the King James bible was named after a King James. I then ran through my head; NIV - New International Version that makes sense, NASB - New American Standard Bible that one makes sense too. I just think that is so weird I never thought of it. Though my bib interp class keeps doing that to me. I read a verse and I see something I would swear was not there before. There is this verse about Jesus bringing a girl back to life. In my class we are to read the NASB version. So Mark 5:42 says, "Immediately the girl got up and began to walk, for she was twelve years old. And immediately they were completely astounded." The verse says specifically the girl is twelve, now I have read this before and I would have sworn it didn't say that. So I thought maybe it was the version so I got up and checked my NIV and even a KJV and both have. Its a huge deal, so the girl was 12, but I just felt admit that I'd never seen it before. So that was a fun trip. I guess it will be there all month free of charge and their open all day 7 days a week so if you have time I recommend it. Especially if you like history. 

On a completely different note. I have discussed this with my sister before. The fact that people do discriminate against me for what can only say must be my weight. Now lately I have talked with several people lately who say I am not actually very fat or that big they don't know why I talk like I am. Now I admit yes I carry my weight well but I am 315 lbs, which is huge. Now I am not in a wheelchair but I have seen myself, I know the size of my close I am a big girl. It was a couple years ago and my sister thought that although were rude to me about my weight when I was kid, that kid stuff or high school. I explained it does happen, not often but every once in awhile. The one that sticks in my head the most was a small party I went to. A friend brought her newest boyfriend and he... well there is no other way to say it but refused to acknowledge me. This is actually the easiest way I know what is going on. But I hate to jump to conclusions. There were about 6 of us there he said hi to everyone, shook hands skipped right over me. That happens. He and friend were talking and I was sitting right there and I joined the conversion but every time I talked he would not acknowledge me even when I was talking directly to him. She would then like repeat what I said and there was an acknowledgment. Now his girlfriend probably a size 4, and the other girl in the conversion was about a size 12. He had never met the other girl either so it isn't he just didn't know me and new her, we had all just met. Later we were watching a movie and he some random question out loud. Knowing he wouldn't acknowledge me and just to see what he would do. I totally answered the question, loud enough for everyone to hear. He asks the question again, so someone else in the room repeats my answer and he thanks them! I just laughed it was just funny. I think someone even mentioned 'didn't angela just say that.' But whatever right, I didn't say anything to the girl I didn't think they would last and they didn't. No need to call the guy out on it, doesn't help anybody. The reason why I mention this is after the exhibit I went to lunch. I was trying to decide between Chili's and Chick-fil-a. I decided to go with Chili's, I had the time so I went with it. Turns out bad idea. My waiter I swear does not like fat people. I was kind of on the edge maybe just a bad day or something. But as I watched him wait on other tables it was true. I didn't know what to do. I kind of just wanted to leave because I am obviously making him uncomfortable that he doesn't want to spend any time at table, was barely there to take my order and said least amount of words possible (totally chatty with his other tables) and this was making me uncomfortable. But I had already ordered and I didn't order and leave that would be totally rude. He totally rushed me out the door, and I kind of let him because I didn't want to be there he was making me feel like I was a freak or something. And then I didn't know what to do with the tip. I didn't tell him he was doing anything wrong so should I really stiff him, so I gave him a ok tip. What is the protocol for something like this? Honestly I am kind of glad I handled it as I did just because I keep getting angry at people so much curse words have even left my lips. So I really didn't need to make a scene so I am glad I didn't. I just hate it. I mean, yes I ordered a bacon cheeseburger but so do like a lot of your customers so why do you need to look me like I am overeating. But I am happy that I know that the world is not like that. That I have friends that don't judge me on my weight. And I am appreciative of that. I think this is part of why I am so guarded with friends, so careful not to get hurt. To think that someone is your friend and that they don't care and then to find out later something said behind your back or while their so drunk they won't remember they told you how they really feel the next day. It's just frustrating. And I know, i know, why don't you just loose the weight. I wish was that easy, because somedays its just nothing I want to be.

I know I said I would be more positive. And generally I am, but sometimes life isn't all that positive and so I reflect that as well. So now I have about hour to get some more homework done before I head off to Awana's tonight.

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