About Me

Hi, my name is Angela and welcome to my blog. This is a place where I write about my life in an honest and open way.

I am 36 years old, single, and a Christian. God gave me a heart to work with children and so I spend my day teaching kindergarten. It is my fourth year teaching and although it is hard I love it. I currently go to a college for my BA in Elementary Education which keeps me busy. Between work and school there is not much time left but I enjoy serving and helping others, watching netflix, or reading a good book.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Blog Avoidence

*I wrote this at my sisters house and her computer does not spell check. So yes I know many spelling errors.

So I have been meaning to post this all week. I keep meaning to and then finding, something, anything else to do instead. After 90 days I ended up at 260 lbs (about 5 lb gain) and no inches lost. This did not come as a surprise as I did not exercise for the last 2 1/2 weeks of the 90 days as well as I binge ate the last week too. So no changes because I self sabatoged.

I have decided to stop stressing about everything. I do want to be healthy but this constant obsession is not doing me well. I am going to make my food easier, less options and less waste on food I don't even like.

I always wish I was a cook. That I cared enough to spend my time cooking a great meal but I just don't like to. I can follow a recipe. I have even cooked Thanksgiving a couple times. But even the steps to make a salad every day for work is a pain to me. Then by the time I get around to doing it all the stuff has gone bad and its like throwing money down the drain. I know that I do this every once in awhile. I get it in my head that if I cooked full meals then that would be the key to someone loving me, but honestly that is just silly. I like simple. It drives me crazy to spend 20-30 min making a burger and fries that take me four min to eat. Or even an egg and sausage that take 8-10 min to cook and 2 min to eat. I think that if I had someone to cook for maybe it would give me a reason to cook. But of course this makes me realize why my mom always hated that we weren't more appreciative of her cooking. She spent time and effort and we, ok I didn't appreciate it. Ah, things to look forward to. :)

This last week I have not gone to the gym. I can't believe it either. And the longer I don't go I find I don't have the desire to go any more. I know I need to go. I know it keeps me healthy but when considering what to do on Friday night going to the gym didn't even cross my mind. I don't like it. The gym is important and I need to treat it that way. So goal next week is to go 3 times minimum.

With a change of what I am eating to something simpler I need to clean out what I currently have. Which means eating all the stuff I have in my fridge, freezer, and cabnets. I of course ate all the snacking stuff first; popcorn, chips, crackers, etc. Now I am getting a little more creative with my meals. I did have to go to Fry's to get some more milk for the boxes of cereal I have. (The new Signature Fry's is 1 mile from my work so I was looking for an excuse to go.) On Thursday night I was going through the freezer and I found something I bought from Trader Joes. It was a seafood stew with shrimp, clams, mussles, and cod. It was ok, but kind of weird. I really tried to eat it all but some did end up down the disposal. :( But I was glad I tried it. There is a lot of chicken in my freezer and a totinoes pizza that I think has been in their for over a year. Most of the random stuff is gone now and I am finding more room in my cabnet and freezer now.

The next step is figuring out what to eat now. Ok, I do pretty much have that figured out. I am always running late so breakfast has to be edible on the go. Lunch has to be portable as I am never home for lunch. Literally, 7 days a week I am not home to eat lunch. Dinners can be more flexible but I want to keep them simple. I like to go to the gym in the evenings but not during rush hour. So I get off at 6 pm, go home and eat and then go to the gym. But if dinner takes 30-60 min to make then that pushes back when I can go to the gym which pushes when I get to bed. So simple things; cereal, eggs, burgers, spaggetti, toquitoes. I really just want to fall into a routine with my food instead of constantly worring about it. Honestly that is how I lost the first 50 lbs, I wasn't paying attention. I was just trying to eat healthy and yet enjoy what I ate.

So I actually shouldn't have any posts about weight loss for at least the next 90 days. In 90 days I am again going to stop and see where I am and adjust accordingly. But besides that I want to focus on other things in my life.

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