Hello again, I just realized it has been a few days since I posted so I thought that I should since I have a few minutes before work. Not much going on. I had told you I went back to regular eating and well that also means that I have found myself at Denny's a few times already. At first I tried to stay away from caffeine but I did succumb to it and am back on caffeine again. Why is that so hard to stay away from?
I am happy to say that I have still been eating fairly well and not overeating. Ok, last night I did overeat a little bit but recognized it and stopped myself so that is good. My weight went right back up to 278 range within two days of stopping the Daniel Fast so I think it was just water weight maybe? I am not sure. I am still not exercising but thinking about it more often about how much I should be exercising. I also did not go to my Monday Holy Yoga class. I keep getting so frustrated about not being able to do many of the moves I felt like I didn't want that frustration.
I do have a confession, in the past week I have been staying up very late. Like last night I got home from Denny's at 3:30 am and went straight to bed. I am also making myself get up in the mornings to do homework. I have done this in the past sleep deprivation as a type of personal torture. I figure it must be better then other things I could be doing to myself but still not smart. I think the first step is recognizing it and trying to do better. I think it has to do with depression due to work. My boss isn't talking to me, unless she has to. My new manager found out about what I said in my blog, all the truth heard first hand, and is upset with me which she doesn't really start till next week so I haven't seen her but have been told. The fun part is someone who regularly reads my blog told her what I said. Which makes me curious who at work reads my blog. So the whole situation makes me anxious.
So I have this neckless that is this little heart that says mom on one side and then her name and date of death on the other. So on Sunday and Monday I wore it, being the anniversary of her death. I would probably still be wearing it but my neck has broken out into a rash. I have never reacted to metal before but always wear sterling silver or stainless steal, which I thought this was but I suspect now that the person on etsy was lying and bought a cheaper metal. So now I am just kind of waiting for it to go away. I don't really know what to do to treat it but figure my body will heal it eventually.
My summer one session ends next week. I am trying to get everything done early because I am now a little scared about my next semesters classes. I have a class that is three credits but broken into three parts each one credit and each one week. I planned two for the first week of July. I have that week off from work and will be visiting my sister all that week. She will have homework to do as well so I figured no big deal. Plus the classes are on safety and first aid stuff so not extremely hard. But now I am starting to worry that I won't be able to complete it all. I mean I am going out there to spend time with my nephews what if they are too distracting and I don't finish on time. So now I want to finish my current classes early because we always get access to classes a week in advance so I figure if I finish these classes early then I can start working on those two classes early. I am pretty good about calming myself down about this. But all of that quickly runs through my head before I can stop and take a breath and remind myself that I can do it.
So there you have it. All the things that are running through my head lately. I know it is a lot which is part of why I never seem to have time to stop and post here. That and by the time I am heading to bed it is so early in the morning I am ready to just crash. Hopefully next time I post I will be a little more in control but probably not.