I am feeling conflicted. I want to stay up late doing nothing. Sleep in tomorrow and then read "Fifty Shades of Grey" that has magically appeared in my living room. But tomorrow my friend is moving, she is moving 63 miles away, that is an hour and a half drive. I want to help, I really do, but waking up very early to try to beat the heat does not sound like fun. In fact I don't know if it is even possible since I have been sleeping in lately. But she is my friend and that is what friends do. So after I type this I will be off to bed.
I work for a school and schools use contracts. Yesterday I was handed this years contract to look over and sign. It is pretty basic, thanks for staying with us another year, these are your hours for the summer and these are your hours for next school year, yada yada. Something seemed off so I read through it again. This time I noticed it, some of my hours were missing. I mentioned it to my manager who was sitting in the room with me. She kind of mumbled something or other and said I should call the manager in charge of those other hours. The hours I was missing are for an hour and a half everyday helping with preschool lunch duty. I knew it was a different department but it has always been part of my contract. Although I hoped that it was a mistake I knew something was up. This morning I found out that that part of my job was cut as part of their budget cuts. So my hours go from 28 hours to 20 hours nearly a third of my hours are gone. What makes me the most upset is that if I had not read my contract and personally noticed this change and then insisted on having a reason who knows when they would have told me. Would they have waited till the first day of school when I show up for lunch duty?!
I have to get another job. I am living paycheck to paycheck right now and there is no way I can loose a third of my income. So then the question becomes do I stay there with those 20 hours and get another part time job or do I try to find something full time and just leave. I have to consider that I am still in school and that I need somewhere to do my seventy hours of observation and student teaching. I think my next step is to make sure that they will allow me to do the seventy hours there before I do anything else.
It is just so frustrating because no idea what my next step should be. I am praying about it but not as much as I should be. So now all I want to do is eat to numb the pain of everything. Hide away in my room and not talk to anyone. Today at work I tried not to talk to any of the adults. I wanted to throw blame around at people but of course that would do not good so I just stayed quiet. Honestly all I can think about is going out to see my sister. I don't want to wait another week to fly out there, I want to go right now. Though that is probably just another form of running away from my problems.
So there it is. My life continuing to fall apart and me refusing to cry because I know it won't help.