Sitting in Denny's working on my last final for the semester. It is for my early childhood guidance and discipline class. I have to not only create a web site but also come up with a philosophy. I am not sure which is harder. Actually it is the website that I am stressing about. My two brothers are all about computer programing so as I create a free web site on google it looks horrible and I hate it. I try to remind myself that this is not a web design class, I am not supposed to be amazing at it. But I want it to look decent. It is pretty easy to do a search for other classmates web pages and most of them are very basic and barely cover the information that assignment requests. This makes me feel a little more confident. I am almost done, I have to research some resources and do an annotated bibliography and then I will be done.
So I work at a pre-k through fourth grade school. I help for an hour and a half during lunch giving preschool teachers a lunch break. I have a two hour break and then do the after school program for K - 4th grade. I work under the extended day/ summer coordinator. My boss has been thinking of changing to a teaching position, she has a BA in education. So while she is subbing in classes I am subbing for her. The last three days have gone great. She has been around to check in on me and I could ask her questions but it has been fun doing everything. The next two days she is out of town so I am really on my own. I am kind of excited. I am nervous about a few parts of the job, like hiring people and working with external vendors who do classes for us, but overall I think I could totally do this job!
Last night I kind of started to freak myself out. I started to get nervous about what if I don't get What if they are not really considering me for the position? I really started worry and well I ate way too much food. It was crazy. I am still trying to figure out this not emotionally eating thing. I kept reminding myself that it is all in God's hands. If I get it great and if not then it isn't the right thing. I will be working full time so it will make going to school even harder. If I get the job I will start over the summer. Intellectually I think that I should be worried about taking so many classes but I am totally calm about that. I feel confident that that is the right choice. I have to trust myself and not make myself worry about something I feel calm about. That would be stupid. In fact I keep running into all these bumps in the road concerning my summer classes but every time I don't worry about it. I just figure it out and keep going. I think I have to describe it as a peace that goes beyond all understanding, if you know what I mean.
I have been good about eating my fruits and veggies that I had pre-packed for lunches and snacks. I forgot how filling they are. I ate like 250 - 300 calories for lunch the other day and I was so stuffed. I was hungry a little earlier then normal but that was fine since I had more fruit packed to eat.
It is late and I am finally starting to get sleepy (it is nearly 1 a.m.) So I am going to post this and head home.